Help! Forgive and forget or just forget??? In-law problems. - FamilyEducation
Help! Forgive and forget or just forget??? In-law problems.
07/28/2011 at 18:55 PM

Okay Im new here and I need immediate advice, My husband & I have been married for 9 yrs. I've always had problems with my in-laws, but specially with one of my sister in laws. At first we were very good friends. But lately we haven't been speaking at all. There has been a series of arguments between us, She has insulted me,and disrespected me and my children.
For that reason, I have stopped visiting my in-laws just to avoid a fight or me having to rush out the house crying. I have tried to forget about stuff she's done to me in the past for the sake of my husband's happiness, but there she goes again treating me like a piece of trash. Well, here's the thing, She is now in a battle with cancer... she's been going thru a series of treatments for about 2 years now. My husband is very depressed because she is just getting worse and worse. I've kept my distance and haven't talked to her thru these hard times because I was just tired of the same story repeat itself over & over. But now that she is in a very serious condition, God forgive me but I can't help but to feel sorry for her. Inside of me I want to forget once again about everything but I can't just do it because I'm afraid if God forbid something happens to her. I'm so confused. She also has never apologized in any way. Like if that's important now. How can I go to her hospital bed like nothing? What do I say? I feel so bad. Please, any words might help me. Any Advice on how to confront this situation? I really don't want to regret anything later in life.

First figure out what it is you want to have happen. Do you want to tell her off? Do you want her to apologize? Then, turn it upside down. Try to figure out if there is something that she would want from you. Does she want to tell you off? Does she want you to say you are sorry? Do you or does she want other things? I would be interested in seeing what you can come up with --things that each of you might want.