Don't get along with daughter
01/02/2011 at 07:20 AM

Let me start with some background.

I'm 40 years old, have a 20 year old daughter and 16 year old son to my first husband. I got divorced and remarried 8 years ago.

My daughter has always been a handful but when she was 13, she was totally out of control. Sneaking out of her window in the middle of the night, getting in trouble, drugs, etc. She finally said that she just didn't want to live with me, she wanted to live with my niece who was 27 at the time. I finally agreed to it and things were fine until my niece starting putting down rules with her and she acted up again. Gave me niece all kinds of trouble. So, my mom tried with her and couldn't handle her, her father tried and couldn't handle her. She was just out of control, she eventually stole my nieces car and was gone for 3 days. At that point everyone refused to let her come back and wanted the state to step in and take her to get her some help. She was 15 at this time and went into foster care. This was not an easy decision but we had no choice but to try to get her help! She continued to get in trouble until she was 18 and out of care when she went to live with my niece. She had not changed at all and was stealing and getting in trouble. She took off and we didn't hear from her for a year. She eventually came back, had a boyfriend she was living with and trying to set up an apartment. So.... we tried to reconcile hoping she was growing up. We helped her set up an apartment with her boyfriend that eventually they got kicked out of and lost all of their belongings for not paying the rent. They ended up living with my niece again. She then found out she was pregnant so we helped her get another apartment, set her up completely again! She had the baby but things become strained again because I was on vacation, out of town, when she had the baby and she thought I should be there and leave my vacation to come home which I didn't. I was home 2 days after the birth and tried to keep the relationship going but 2 months later, she disappeared again after stealing my nieces TV! Her and her boyfriend took the baby and went to live with one of his relatives. We didn't hear from her for 8 months and then find out she is pregnant again! She has tried to make contact with me and I refuse to talk to her anymore..... I just can't do this anymore! I have to turn my back and not look back. I know that I'll never see my grandchildren but at this point, they don't feel like my grandchildren and I know that they are being raised with morals that I don't agree with. This whole relationship has ripped my heart out for 7 years but I just can't do this anymore with her in and out of my life. I can't trust her, with everything she has already done, I know she would rob me blind! I have beat myself up for years, wondering where I went wrong but then I look at my 16 year old who really is the best kid ever. Has a great head on his shoulders and walks such a straight line in life. He wants to go into the Marines and eventually be a State Trooper. So, I know I'm a good mom! I raised them both the same way.... what did I do wrong??? And is it horrible of me to not want to be in her life anymore?????

Thank you for taking the time to read my story and listen to my problems. I just feel heart broken at times but need to move on.....