Difficult to deal with Father & Money - FamilyEducation
Difficult to deal with Father & Money
05/01/2008 at 23:25 PM

My mom passed away in January and I am living with my dad, brother, grandma, girlfriend, and niece.  Since my mom passed away my dad has been really difficult to deal with.  He's always been hard to deal with, but now he complains about everything, makes everyone depressed, all he does all the time is complain.  We aren't in desperate need of money, and my girlfriend has lived here for free for years, but now he says she needs to pay him $40 a week to live here.  She gives him money whenever she can, but she is behind on a lot of bills and it's hard for her to pay him that much.  Recently he paid to get a tire fixed on her car and that was $70.  When she got paid she gave him $110 and he is complaining to everyone in the house except for her, that she owes him $80 for "rent" and the $70 he paid for her tire.  I just don't know what to do to get him to lay off of her, there is no talking to him, he doesn't listen to anyone and he just gets mad.  I've tried giving her some money to give to him sometimes when she doesn't have it but I don't have a lot of money either.  What can I do?  I don't want to move because we have two big dogs and no where is going to allow us to move in for cheap with big dogs like that and it would break my heart to leave them behind but I am tired of being scared my dad is going to make her leave.

Your father is still very much going through the grieving process and still has a long way to go. You have been lucky to have your girlfriend live with you for so long without having to pay your way. Maybe it is time for you to get a dose of reality and your father is helping you do that. I don't know if either you or your girlfriend work, but if not, maybe it is time for you both to get a job. It makes no difference how much money your father has, he has to make you stand on your own two feet, so give it a try and please try to understand what he is going through.

Wow, living for years rent free with her bf dad!! It is time to stop taking advantage of your father, he is not her father and he has no responsibility to her. If you want her to stay, find a way to pay the rent, she is YOUR girlfriend not his.