Am I making the right decision to exclude father? - FamilyEducation
Am I making the right decision to exclude father?
09/11/2009 at 00:09 AM

I brought my daughter into the world out of wedlock. EDEN changed something in my soul. it did not have that affect on her father... he is a drug addict and that's only the tip of the iceburg! He is a highly toxic person. i take parenting Very Seriously and I know the statistics of girls who grow up with absentee fathers. I gave him many chances to prove he could play a positive role in her life and it only led to broken promises and dissapointment.It is unbearable to see my 2yr. old in emotional pain. I am engaged to a wonderful man who showers her with love and attention, and takes an active part in helping me parent. I finally cut off her father a few months ago. This is something my fiance and my family members have been insisting on for years.I just want to do what is in her absolute best interest. Any outside opinions would be helpful.

By his negative behavior your daughter's father has excluded himself from his daughter's life. You are making the best choice for your child. This man will in all likelihood resurface at some point and if he has cleaned up his act, you could make the decision to allow him restricted visitation. You will have to cross that bridge when you come to it. For now, the positive father figure she has will be good for your daughter.

There are times when it is best not to have someone around. I currently have my 3 grandchildren in my home, the fathers (2) have not been in contact for years. The older two have the same father and he lives in town. There are friends who update me on him and his life is all about alcohol and who knows what else. The third child's father is miles away in another state and has not made contact with the baby. Again, it is all about him, his car etc. It has gotten to the point that their mother is also stepping out of the picture as they are "to much work", and she does not have time. It is not the ability to "make a baby" that makes him your childs father, it is his abilty to love her unconditionally and be willing to sacrifice for what is best for her. Sounds like she has a father in your fiance.