I need help - FamilyEducation
I need help
09/23/2007 at 22:05 PM

hi I need help with something, I am 16 and four months preganant I know not supprising though I am unable to stop bleeding and I want to know if there is something wrong or what?  The only problem is that I can not go to the doctor mainly because my parents do not know though also I am at a boarding school.  So if somebody could help me that would be great.

I realize you are probably very scared.When you are pregnant, any bleeding should be checked with a doctor.Is there someone at your school that you can confide in?I  know this is a very difficult situation for you, I also have teenage daughters. I would want to know if my daughter was pregnant, just thinking about you going through  this on your own is just making me want to cry.I dont know what your relationship is with your parents, but maybe you could try to talk to them.I believe every child is a gift,there are people out there that are willing to help you.PLEASE RESPOND BACK!  I am very concerned about you. susan


     Yes,  there is something wrong if you are "unable to stop bleeding" at 4 months pregnant.   You need to speak with a medical professional.   Heavy bleeding is reason enough to see a gynecologist,  if that's all you feel you could say at this time to a guidance counselor or parent.   I know you must be very scared,  but at the moment you need to put your fears aside,  use common sense,  take care of yourself and your baby.    

     I know you have alot on your mind,  but please read alittle about my story.

   My mother was a teenager when I was born.  She hid her entire pregnancy from friends and family,  even her parents.   Her parents found out when she went into labor.   She placed me for adoption, and I was adopted by great people,  my parents. 

  My birthmother,  like everyone,  is a totally different person as an adult than she was as a teenager.  Her biggest regret in her life isn't that she got pregnant,  but that she didn't confide in her mom.  She was sure her parents would disown her if they found out she was pregnant, so she never gave them a chance.  And it broke her parents (my grandparents) hearts to know their daughter needed them so badly and they weren't there for her.  

    And as her daughter,  I'm  most thankful  that she gave me life,   and that even thought she was a terrified pregnant teenager,  she found a way to get prenatal care and prenatal vitamins.  I was underweight at birth, as alot of babies born to teenagers are,  but I was healthy and strong because my mother took care of me while I was growing in her belly.  She is a hero to me. 

   Please put your fears aside and act.  You need some help now.  I said a prayer for you. 


Seriously, you need to get to the dr. I work for a children's hospital and I can't tell you the number of premature babies born with some type of illness/defect. I don't mean to scare you at all, I know how scary it can be to be pregnant young and not wanting to tell anyone but think about the miracle inside you.


No, there is not anybody at my school that I could confide in and my realtionship with my parents well lets just say that I have a better realtionship with this tree that I walk past everyday.


I do not have a doctor that is also another problem


Right now you need to get a phone book and call your local hospital.Tell the operator that you are 16 years old and  in desperate need of pre-natal care. They should be able to reffer you to a clinic that can deal with your situation. There are organizations out there that can help pregnant teenagers.I realize this is difficult, but you really need to get to a doctor! I'm sure all of this is very scary to you right now, and you probably just dont want to deal with this stuff, but you have too. Take this first step, call the hospital and explain your situation.( the person on the other line wont know who you are)These organizations that help young mothers are able to handle your situation.You are not alone out there, if you cannot speak to your parents right now..ok, but you may change your mind in the future, just think about it.PLEASE respond soon, I'm worried about you, just take this a step at a time, you can do this.You are not alone. susan.


I called my local hosptial and they reffered me to some clinic like an hour hour and a half away from my school and I can not walk that far.


Not sure where you live but Ca. has a program called "First 5" which also helps with dr. appts (getting you to & from), insurance, etc. Do a Google search for "(your state) prenatal programs" and that should give you a decent reference of state or county programs that help young and/or at-risk mothers. Not sure how many of these are confidential but it's a step towards taking care of yourself.


okay thank you so much guys, could anybody tell me what maybe wrong if I am unable to go to the doctor because I will have to walk.


I am not a doctor, but bleeding at 4  months may indicate a miscarriage or an atopic pregnancy.A atopic pregnancy is a pregnancy that developes in the fallopian tubes, when the tube ruptures,   there is alot of bleeding. this is a serious medical condition. In both cases you need to get to a doctor, for the health of your baby and yourself.Where are you? I will do what I can to help you.Susan.


I am in Florida, If I do not see a doctor then what could happen to me and my baby?  I am really scared now I was scared before though I now I am extra scared!


Dont be scared. The info you need can be found on the internet, again I am not a doctor, I have six kids and I know that you need to be seen.What city are you in ? I can research the area and find a place that can help you. susan


 I have family in Tallahassee Fl. are you near there? susan


no, not really that area I am more like near Fort Lauderdale.  Though I got this woman from this camp that I went to this summer said that if I can find a hospital or clinic then she will take me there


Fort Lauderdale


I found a place in Ft.Lauderdale. The Ft. Lauderdale clinic 3475 N. Dixie Highway. 945 561-1905. They are associated with planned parenthood. They help pregnant teenagers. there national info # is 1-800 230-plan. let me know how things work out. susan


ok thanks so much I will head over to this woman's office and hope that we can go there now!


Call first! they closed today at 3:00. let me know .Susan


You may also try  HOPE PREGNANCY CENTER. 823 E Oakland Ft. lauderdale..954 568-2616 This is a christian based organization, they can help pregnant teen moms with appts, finacial and couseling. susan... I just called   they have a 24hour service for emergencies call 866 673-hope. call them, and tell them what your situation is... let me know.


Okay thanks though you were right I had a miscarriage though I am not sure what happend or why


Did you see a doctor to confirm this? I am so sorry.It will take awhile, but you'll be ok. A miscarriage just happens, it was nothing you did.Sometimes a pregnancy just does not develope,and a miscarriage is natures way of dealing with it.I have had two.You are so young, and all this must be so hard to handle, You have been on my mind so much these past few days...lots of prayers go out to you...good luck in your future.susan.


Please go get help NOW, I had that problem once and I lost so much blood until I had to get a blood transfusion.  You need to seek immediate attention, your life and your child's is at stake.  We all make mistakes that is a part of life, that's how we better ourselves by learning from them. 


yes I did go and see a doctor.  Thanks


Is there a chance that my baby could still be alive even after a miscarriage?  My doctor did not say.


When your doctor confirmed a miscarrige. it means you are not longer pregnant.The embryo(baby) you were carring is gone. You need to remember that this embryo did not form  normally (thus the miscarriage.) An embryo is extremely small, and you would not have known.When you are feeling better, you may want to do a little research in this area... just for your own information.You need to take it easy for a lilltle bit, this is a hard thing to have to go through.Jcapozzi@wi.rr.com is my E-mail in case you need another friend to talk to.susan


thanks, though why should I take it easy for a couple of days.  I was hopping to go and catch up on my running because I have not been able to do so for the past four months.  Thanks for being here.


Just worried about you...If your feeling good and the doctor did not advise otherwise, have fun! susan


my doctor did advise me otherwise though did not say why I should not run or get back on the soccer team.  Do you know why I should take it slow?  I want to go play soccer and run and play hockey and all the other sports that I use to play before my stupid ex-boyfriend and I did what we did.


I found this web-site www.babycenter.com. look for "understanding a miscarriage" I believe the main reason for taking it easy for the next few days, is so that you dont bleed too much.Some bleeding is normal for the next week or so.I assume your feeling well,but any heavy bleeding,cramps,fever or weakness needs to be checked with your doctor. susan


so I am guessing that I should not go play soccer, run a couple of miles, play hockey or tell my coach that I can rejoin the soccer team right away?


I would wait a couple of days.When the bleeding stops, then go for it. susan


OKAY I will count down days, hours, minutes, and seconds!  Though why would I be bleeding


any bleeding is left over from the miscarriage, that maybe over for you.susan


I am so happy I am going to go tell my soccer team that I coach that I am there coach agian and I am going to go run then go play soccer,basketball, volleyball, and hockey! Thank you so much for being here the past few days or so.


I'm so glad you are feeling better! good luck to you. susan.


thanks though if I started to bleed agian what should I do?


You are going to be just fine, It's been a couple of weeks now....so don't worry, Get on with doing good   in school and planning your future,you can do whatever you put your mind to!susan


okay thanks


have you been to the infirmary on your campus at boarding school.  if you are afraid that they will tell your parents then please, please, get yourself to an ER at a local hospital.  today there are all kinds of privacy laws that protect patients rights.  perhaps they can help you.  bleeding during pregnancy is never a good sign.  at the very least, you need to find out what is causing the bleeding, and be counseled through is delicate time, so that you can decide how you want to handle this pregnancy. then please, as a responsible parent of a teenage daughter, let me tell you, that in today's day and age, unwanted pregnancy can be prevented. do your self a favor and find out how.  good luck to you dearheart.


nataliep...you got a lot of good advice here...

lots of empathy...

and quite a bit of sympathy...particularly from Susan...

this time...try and put those things together with some

common sense and a little bit of RESPONSIBILITY!!!

if you were my daughter...Id kick your butt!!!!



Well when i was 16 years old i fell pregnant with my first daughter. i started bleeding pretty bad. an all the bleeding was the baby settling in. but if you are losing clots you should go to the hospital. u wont need to walk just phone an ambulance.

Are you bleeding heavy enough to soak a pad? If so you need to see a Dr. It could be a miscarriage. But you also have to be careful cause it could put you in danger also. You may be scared but you have to tell your parents sooner or later. And sooner is better then later.