what's wrong with me? - FamilyEducation
what's wrong with me?
04/29/2009 at 02:59 AM

I don't really know why I ask this question,and even want to discuss it. I am ashamed and frustrated with myself and feel very humiliated. Maybe as I struggle innerly to expose my secret if I'll just get it off my chest it will make me feel a little better. So here's my problem;

I am a 34 year old very respected mother of 8. I have everything a person could expect for in life. Adorable intelligent kids, loving husband, a large warm immediate family, we both own our separate successful businesses,I am considered extremely intelligent and talented in almost all areas, I don't know why but I became quite famous in my community and people constantly turn to me for advice. I don't mean to boast it just states the severity of my problem. I have a very strong addiction to thumb sucking and no matter how many times I successfully succeeded in weaning myself it always hits back to such an extent that it's pure torture. For instance I just traveled 12 hours overseas, as my husband enjoyed the relaxing atmosphere, to me it was hell as I constantly battled with my addictive habit. It's very hard to explain but this is a craving beyond your imagination. You suddenly get an overpowering urge, it begs it yearns, it demands please... just one little suck, and when it finally defeats you as you sneak one in, ooh... how warming how relaxing, it feels almost like meditation, and when your thumb has melted away and you return from cyberspace that's when you wake up and feel dejected humiliated and one big failure.

Please can someone just explain to me why a women who was always considered an above average mature individual even as a child (I still remember the wide eyes when caught, now I learned to closet myself.) still can't get rid of such childish behavior? It's ironic but I successfully helped people with anxiety problems and also weaned 3 kids from thumbsucking (they are oblivious of mine) and here I am so helpless.

If thumbsucking is the only problem you purport to then consider yourself to be the luckiest person alive. Not sure if you want our advice or just someone to dazzle with the brilliance of your achievements or your rhetoric. Perhaps the blog page would be more your style?

Unknown Oh my! That's not what I meant at all! I get enough praise to last me a lifetime I even came to loathe it. I really wish someone could be of help or maybe got a similar problem and tackled it with success. I tried everything I could think of but to no avail. Sometimes I succeed for a couple of month than it comes back nagging me even more than before. I just wanted to explain my situation why It affects me so much, and am afraid that I might make a fool of myself. That's all! I am sorry I did not realize that it might sound like that.

Try a hypnotherapist.

It sounds like you're either orally fixated or that this is almost like a compulsion that takes over you. Or maybe it's just a strong desire you have to feel comfort. Some people eat to fulfill their need, others bite their nails or have to touch things (seeking input) to sooth themselves, while others may just have a nervous habit. It cld even be something you're afraid to let go of from childhood (like Linus w/ his blanket). You have to figure out why you suck your thumb by considering these different possibilities. Therapy may be helpful to you. If you can teach yourself to control the habit, just like anything else, you'll feel better about it. Ask yourself: Did anything happen in your childhood that may be causing you to not want to grow up or let go of this habit? Do you have other compulsions or OCD? Do you feel the urge to put non-food items in your mouth regularly or to touch things out of need? Have you tried a band-aid or wearing gloves? Have you tried substituting sucking your thumb for sucking on a piece of candy or a lollypop? These are all things you cld try. I wld also mention this habit to your dentist if you haven't already. I've heard that thumb sucking can affect your teeth. Hope my advice helps.

Thumb sucking will probably cause a lot less damage to your teeth than sucking on candy or lollipops. What about sugar free gum?

Unknown Wow! I never connected it but it seems you are right I tend to calm myself or relieve stress through biting chewing sucking etc. When I come to think of it it's when I stop my thumbsucking for a certain period of time I gain a little weight, then I try to lose the weight gain my urge to thumbsucking returns but I never related it. I recently went through a very stressful although happy period which zapped all my strength and this combined with watching my calories probably stirred it again. I don't smoke and hate chewing gum in public and would like to watch my calories. I guess a diet candy might be a solution then. The only problem stays while sleeping, if my door of my room is unlocked I am always nervous that a child might come in and catch me with thumb in mouth causing me lots of sleepless nights. Maybe some ideas you suggest would stir another chord in me as to why it happens? By the way I have very straight teeth. Thank you very much for your good advice

I know this bothers you....If for some reason this is your only vice in life....I really won't worry about it.....But if you really need help seek professional help. God Bless

Wow, you are so brave to admit this! It really is childish and embarrasing! I have a problem with "rocking" I rock back and forth and it soothes me I suppose. The problem is when I do it at work, in the car or in public. My kids have always asked why I do this and my fiance tends to ask me to stop. It's kinda miserable that it's not considered normal. Everyone else is more comfortable when I sit still, but I am not comfortable. Life is strange and people are too I guess

I've heard rocking is a way of soothing yourself or putting yourself at ease. My oldest son does it sometimes, and this is how his therapist explained it to me. If it relaxes you, I don't see why you shldn't do it. We all have our quirks. That shldn't make you feel any less of a person. Ignore what others say. As long as you're not hurting anyone, what's the big deal?

I have a habit of knee-bouncing. when i'm sitting with one leg on the other, i always bounce my knee. It soothes me so much, sometimes i don't even realize i'm doing it. Once at work somebody couldn't bear it any more i guess, and she asked me to stop, as it was in her viewspace and disturbing her from work... but i can't seem to want to stop, lol P.S. i also bite my cuticles (the skin around the fingernails). I desire to stop it, but i can't :(

Kara, I can't help you w/ the knee bouncing, but for the cuticle biting, get manicures. I used to be a horrible nail/cuticle biter for yrs. I recently started getting my nails done, and now I never bite them. BTW, they're wraps, so it's harder to bite them then my real nails. Good luck!