What's happened here
02/09/2008 at 08:52 AM

Gee. Been away for some time and didn't recognise these message boards. Why all these blogs. Thought this was about helping each other out, not pushing our private little lives down others throats. Todd, being sick might suck, but isn't it great you've got a nanny to pick up the slack and take care of 'the kid' for you. Thirteen hours sleep is a helluva lot more than us normal 'mere mortals' would get when we were sick. Be thankful. Not being in the least interested in what you are doing with your life [except exploiting children by your choice of brand names] you will be pleased to note that it will be a long time before I venture back to the message boards. Leave some space for people who need the help of others. They are goingh to stop coming on these boards too if you keep up your inane prattle about the inconsequential minutae in your life. 

Junie: Oh, there are so many possible reactions to have to your comments. But, I'll leave it with this: Have a great weekend. You've clearly read way more into the "inconsequential minutae of my life" than was written. By the way - it IS great that we have some part time help to pick up the slack while my wife and I both work full time jobs in order to make ends meet. You're absolutely right - and I am thankful. But, I'm not going to bother getting into any sort of argument with you, as we're all entitled to our opinions. Again, have a great weekend. 


Hey Junie, great to see you back.  This virtual community is just like a real one, except you can ignore somebody and they don't even have to know it. 

It's a learning experience for us all. I think a lot of us were disconcerted when the blogs showed up, especially me because whoever is in charge didn't tell me how to do one of my own.  The nerve! 


 Kind of makes one wonder if that was intentional.




Hey Junie


The blogs are a new feature that we are going to launch fully soon.  You don't have to read the blogs at all and you should be able to tell what is a message board post and what is a blog when you open the recent posts page by looking at the type.


I hope that you will continue to come to and post on the boards and just ignore what you aren't interested in.






Hey Gail


We have not fully launched the blogs yet but as soon as we do you will be able to make your own blog!! 


I know the blogs are a different thing but I think that they will be a lot of fun for members that are interested in starting a blog and fun for the members that want to read certain blogs.  I agree that a great thing is that the members don't have to read any blog or post unless they are interested!






Junie, thanks. You saved me having to make any more comments. Right on girl. Please don't go.


Hi Marti, just wondered if it was possible for the blogs to be in an entirely different category. As it is, you go to recent posts and have to go back to another page. When you have finished with a thread, you have to go back through that process again. I guess this only happens though when you are not on as often and interesting things work their way down the list of recent posts because they are pushed there by the blogs. The blogs could come under some sort of general discussions and would be a lot easier for us to ignore.


I am not aiming to get into any arguments either. I just don't understand the blog culture where you air your private life in public. I am asking a sincere question when I ask why? What do you get out of telling us all about your home life. Is it instructive. Is it some kind of therapy for you? Will it help all the people who come on here hoping for some help with their problems? Maybe you can help me to understand what YOU get out of it. 


Frankly, the issue isn't about the blogs, it's about the placement of the blogs in the discussion forum. I think there were some good comments (that weren't personal attacks) about separating the blogs from the discussion posts. That makes sense, and, as I understand it, is what the powers-that-be behind the scenes are planning.

What do I get out of it? Well, I don't necessarily do everything with a final eye toward what I get out of anything. I've been writing and producing parenting-related content for a very long time. I've written a book, produced podcasts, posted thousands of blog entries and, based on the comments that I usually get back, the content I create is read as a source of entertainment, sometimes information, but rarely raises the kind of vitriol that it did for you.

The post about being sick wasn't all about me being sick. The point was that being sick as a parent sucks. We (as a collective whole) don't usually have time to recover. We have to plow through. You, however, got stuck on the fact that my wife and I have a part-time nanny (and, I assume created a picture in your head of high-society, Hollywood living - NOTHING could be further from the truth).

As some of the other comments also pointed out - don't read the blogs if you don't want to. By bailing on the discussion boards - you don't hurt me. You hurt yourself (as you clearly have a passion for this site and the discussions, which is good) and you hurt whomever you might be able to help with your comments. What struck me about your comments was that you made this personal, when the real issue (as stated previously) is really about the location of the blogs.

The "blog culture" is growing. I've been part of it for a long time (and I must have been doing it reasonably well for Parent Education to invite me to blog for this site).

That being said: I do love the phrase, "inane prattle about the inconsequential minutiae of your life," however. I'll be using that as the title of my autobiography, and I'll be sure to thank you in the credits. But, I would offer this: I don't think that ANY action is inconsequential. Everything we do has some kind of consequence: good, bad or indifferent.

Finally, let me ask you a question right back: Aren't the message boards a similar "airing of one's private life in public?" Isn't asking for help on naming a baby, or how to stop a teenager from breaking up a marriage (or discussions on sex) just a different version of said "airing?" I don't know. (And what if my postings WERE about what you consider to be important? Then, they'd simply be long-form discussion topics.) Something to think about.

I’m not here to piss anybody off. I’m here to write about my life as a dad. It’s what I was asked to do and what I’ll continue to do. I love writing, so, it’s a true pleasure for me. If the blogs are being posted in the wrong place – fine, we’ll change that. But, really, please don’t bail on the site just because of some functionality issues. And, please don’t suppose that you know anything about me simply because you’ve read three or four posts. Attack what I say, if you have a major problem, but not who you think I am.


I wonder if it would be possible to put up a short message to the effect that we should each consider, just before we hit "Post comment" if what we intend to say meets the T H I N K test.  That little "Edit" button has been useful for me, though I maybe should have used it more than I have. 

  The T H I N K test?  I learned it as a child, (before the last ice age) THINK before you speak, is it True, is it Helpful, is it Important, is it Necessary, is it Kind?  Things don't have to be any of the five before they are said, but the questions should be considered.

   If it is true and necessary, then try to make it helpful and kind.  Important?  Everybody's ideas are important,  if only as evidence that they are thinking, but we really are a community of strangers, you can't let these things get under your skin.


I think this whole thread is incredibly healthy and useful, actually. It's great for the FamilyEducation folk to see what the users want, etc. It's a great focus group. Nobody is under my skin and I don't think I'm under Junie's. I think that the system is under her skin. Everyone is getting the chance to say their piece and make their peace. That's the value in such forums (with which I know you agree, or you wouldn't be here!)


I think you are right when you say it was not so much an attack on you, rather the system Todd. I can't stand blogs myself, so don't read them. It would be better if they were tidied away somewhere so that people who want to read them  can find them easily enough, but they don't block up the recent posts.
Gail, you are certainly right when you say that you should have used the 'think button' more often. Sometimes though you have to grab the ball and run with it. Say what you have to say while you are still feeling the impetus and the emotion. I have put off so much in my life because I felt the need to analyse everything before tackling it. I then lost the nerve and couldn't do what I then felt was the right thing to do.
Junieg asked an interested question about what people got out of doing blogs, and I think she got an answer. 


I believe the powers-that-be have made the change already. Don't see any blogs on the "recent posts" (which was the only place they could be seen). All's well that ends well, right?




Hey All


The Blogs have been removed from the recent posts.  I think the blogs will be a very exciting addition to the site.  Hopefully for many members this "sneak peek" will get them interested in the blogs and the blog writers.


I will let everyone know when they are fully launched!






Well, is it safe to raise my head above the parapets again? This discussion certainly prompted some response and resulted in a putting the blogs in their own place. I would call that a result. Thank you Marti and the powers that be for listening.
Yes Todd, you are right, it was more about the system than you personally, but you just got caught in the cross-fire.
Firstly my comments about the nanny. I had no images of high society Tinseltown. It's just that, if you have read through many of the posts, you will realise that there are some people who are pretty desperate about things at times and need some support, probably as much as answers. Your comments sounded somewhat insensitive to these people. Some of us have to struggle through with very little sleep or support.
My comments about 'brand name babies'? Well that is probably something we shouldn't go into now. I did notice some of the links to child exploitation sites had been deleted. I guess we all have our own standards and principles. I would oonly sound sanctimonious were I to mention all the companies I boycott because of their dire ethics and morals. As a marketer, I guess you just have to go with the flow. Taking a stand won't pay your salary. I try to buy Fair Trade, Green and Ethical products. If I can't afford them then I do without.
Lastly, thanks for considering the phrase 'Inane prattle about the inconsequential minutae of your life' as a working title for your autobiography. I must admit it has a catchy ring to it.  Please let us know when it is published.
What do I get out of these posts - I wish I had had access to something like this when I was bringing up my own children Admittedly, I live in Scotland and there are great differences in some of the features such as schooling and laws. However, childcare in itself is not so different wherever in the World you live. I find these message boards helpful from both a personal and professional standpoint. I am an Early Years Educator and find points of view which may help me be better at my job, helping parents and children alike. We build up our own learning schemas from so many different areas. This is just one of them.
The recent post board tonight looks very healthy again and it looks like it has been busy again.
Good luck with what you want to do Todd. I hope we can part as friends.


Junie...I promise you - I harbor absolutely no ill-will. You and I could probably have a great little "back and forth" (and bore people forever). Fact is - I was VERY sick last week (worst I've been in years) and the only reason I got that sleep is cuz I absolutey had to have it. My brain, body and soul quit. I should have used the word "babysitter" - might have changed everything. Either way, it's all good.  Look forward to visiting you in Scotland someday (the original post seems so less harsh with a Scottish accent behind it). Glad it all worked out and that you won't need to bail on the site, or those that need your advice. I recognize and FULLY support the value of these boards (the board my wife belongs to is an amazing resource). It's amazing how helpful they are...Cheers!