what to do...?? - FamilyEducation
what to do...??
03/18/2008 at 10:37 AM

Any advice would be greatly appreciated. Here's the situation. I have two kids (boy, 6 and girl, 4). Our neighbors have a only child (boy, aged 7). He is very bossy and likes to wrestle and fight my son. My son doesn't like this and has told this boy many times he doesn't want to fight but to no avail. This boy also bosses my son many times. I've told the neighbor boy many times that my son doesn't want to fight so please stop. He never listens and goes back to wrestling and fighting. My son is not strong enough to say no. I don't want to forbid my son from seeing the neighbor boy. I'd like to advise my son on how to handle this but I don't know the best advice to give him. Can anybody weigh in on this? Thanks in advance for any help.

Have you talked w/ the boy's mother?  I would first tell his mother and mention that he cannot come over if he doesn't follow your rules - even if they seem more strict than at his own house.  If he does misbehave - send him home or call his mom and have her come down and deal w/ him, although if he's at your house, you should be able to deal w/ him in a manner that should be approved by his parents - like a scolding or time-out or something.............  I had the same problem w/ the neighbor girl and my own girls at our house.  She would scream at my kids and at me and throw tantrums.. I have 3 girls and have never witness such tantrums in my life!  On more than one occasion (more like 10) the girl wouldn't share the Dora house, etc and accessories w/ my girls so I asked her to please share - she looked at me and told me "NO!" I was shocked and politely asked her again, and again she said no.  When I told her she would have to go home if she was not going to be nice, she went over to a wall and started kicking it..she would kick something every time I told her to "wait" or "hold on a minute" or whatever, even if I was in the middle of cutting raw chicken...I told her mother what was going on after a few play dates because I thought it was a phase or an attempt at getting attention or something.   I eventually had to send the girl home each time she started misbehaving.  She doesn't misbehave anymore. 

I totally agree with mum3. This is a situation that needs to be dealt with by the adults. Your son should not be expected to handle this on his own.