Visitation:1wk w/me, 1wk w/dad; Pros & Cons? - FamilyEducation
Visitation:1wk w/me, 1wk w/dad; Pros & Cons?
06/17/2008 at 16:09 PM

There is a lot (and I mean a lot) of backgraound to the last five years of my and my childrens lives.

I have a soon to be 5 yr. old starting kindergarten in sept.08.  Dad wants 50/50 custody.

Problem is...Dad lives with his mom.  Mom had previously abducted one of her other grandsons and was on the run  for 3 years (my ex went with his Mom while she was on the run). Without going to far more into it; my sons paternal grandmother is not a nice person.  She works for my ex's Lawyer and they swindled me and my other children out of (almost) everything that I had.  This man and his mother threatened to take our son away and I would never see him again if I didn't quit-deed MY home over to him. I told him No way; and a divorice began.  My sons Dad wants 50/50 custody so he wont have to pay support (witch he isn't paying right now anyway, so I don't cae about thart) and he knows that would be the nail in my coffin; him getting our child for that much time (Dad wants Grandma, the child abducter, to be our sons babby-sitter) Court Order are this woman can't be left alone with my son (even though Daddy lives with her). These people are grifters.  And when my little boy comes home and I ask Did you have a good time? My 4 yr. old replies to me 'Don't worry about' and 'I can't tell you Daddy said it's a seceret'.  When my son came home from one visit with his father he had a buzz-cut and my son told me 'Daddy cut my hair cause' he hates you'. (I was letting his hair grow out a little and the Dad knew it).

 Okay here is my question;

Please does anyone have info in re: to 1 week at home and 1week with the other?

I really can't see this being benificial to the child.  Not at this age; if he where 13-14 maybe, If anything I know from experince through friends who have done this arrangement that it really is harder on ther children.

But I need hard written facts. If anyone knows of any resourcesPlease let me know.

 HELP! Please!

You do not need outside resources. Your resource is your child. A good child psychologist can report what would be in the best interest of the child. For every hard written fact you may find, they will find another to contradict it. I used a psychologist to help me fight for what was best for my children. Find one who specializes in working with children, and who would also testify if need be. DO NOT coach your child before going, just tell him that this is a doctor that you talk to, and that he just needs to tell the truth. I hope you have a lawyer. I also hope that you look in to whether his mother working for his attorney would be considered a conflict of interest in your local court rules. I am short on time right now, but I will write back with more later.

I think a psychologist or a court mediation psychologist would be able to get this settled pretty quickly. There is a restraining order already in place. The woman has a felony history of abduction of a grandchild. A parent using a child to get back at the other parent will not go well in court. Using the child so he doesn't have to pay child-support won't go well either. But, the proof! That's for the psychologist. Keep a journal of all events, words, what-ever! And do NOT go 50/50. Don't go further than "supervised visitation." Don't let go of that kid. You are his life-line.

Joann, I re-read the op's post, and nowhere did it state that there was a felony conviction for child abduction.

You are right, it is not mentioned as such. The statement about "being on the run for 3 years" seems to point to it, though. My mistake.