snobbiness - FamilyEducation
09/01/2007 at 20:24 PM

This is the first time i have ever participated in this sort of thing.   I was actually looking for math help for my children when I came across this website. If anybody has any advice for me I would appreciate it.

Yesterday I witnessed an incident involving my own daughter which I am still upset over.  I had taken her to the local grocery store to meet her friends to go spend the night. I stayed outside for awhile chatting to the girls mother with our girls hanging around talking to people who came and went.  It is a small community and you usually run into several people you know each time you go out.  A truck pulled in and a cute young boy jumped out and ran up to my daughter and her friend.  They immediately started shrieking and carrying on and I thought nothing of it untill my daughter clearly said "Get away from me and don't touch me,  don't even look at me." Then she turned and said to me and the other girls mom in a loud voice,"He's gay".  She then proceeded to whisper loudly to her friend.  The boy had at this point slunk back into his parents truck, looking like he was about to cry. 

I was so stunned by my daughters behaviour I was speechless. She is my oldest, 11, and I am usually very proud of how she handles herself.   She is usually polite and kind and sensitive.  I realize things must have been said about this poor boy at school, right now the term "gay" is one I hear alot from her friends, used to describe just about everybody they are at odds with. I thought about that poor child all evening and night, and it made me think of all the other children who have been picked on at school and what a terrible feeling it must be .  I was home schooled and did not ever have these experiences. My children are pretty and popular and do very well in school,and I am proud to say this.  I also want them to be humble and kind,  something I realize now I need to address more. I cannot tolerate that kind of behavior.  My question is,  what do I say to her,to all my girls, (I have three ).  I have not spoken to her yet. I am still upset taht my adorable daughter acted so cruelly and heartlessly. Very disturbing to me. Any advice?


I certainly don't want to act like the expert, but it seems that your daughter was speaking to impress her friends, thus the reason why she does not act like that at home.

I feel that you may need to talk to your daughter and get under the problem.  Ask why she acted this way and why she chose the words that she used. 

Peer pressures are really starting to play a role in the way your daughter behaves in social (her friends) situations. 

Hope this helps