Can't get mom off my back - FamilyEducation
Can't get mom off my back
01/16/2013 at 16:25 PM

For years I have been telling my mom to concentrate on her own life and not make me the centre of her life. But that never worked.

I recently moved in with my boyfriend and we live very happily together. But my mom is getting very depressed about me not living with her. Me and my boyfriend living with her is not really an option because she and him don't get along at all. She tends to be too dominant and keep on giving off the "you live under my roof, so follow all my rules" attitude.

I have tried many times to have her focus on her own life instead of mine. I have a very happy life, other than the fact that she is very depressed and keeps on blaming me for not making her happy by not living with her and making her the centre of my life. In contrast, she is not happy with her life at all.

Bottom line, are there ways to help her focus on her own life and be happy about it instead of focusing on mine?

Your in-laws are elderly and sooner or later they will not be able to care for your daughter. It is not easy raising kids. But if you have enough love in you, you will be able to care for your child. Your experience with your mother already taught you what you do not want to be as a mother. We all go through self doubt whether we are good parents. There is no hard fast rule on how to raise kids. I think that everybody is capable of being a good parent. You have to be 100 per cent committed. It is normal to fear failure. There is no such thing as being a perfect parent.