HELP!!! 14 y/o and 21y/o - FamilyEducation
HELP!!! 14 y/o and 21y/o
01/31/2010 at 21:58 PM

This is my first time on this site....I am extremely distraught over 21 year old man interacting with my 14 year old daughter. She is a great teen and have not had any trouble with her. She is an "A" student plays sports and I feel we have had a great mother/father/daughter relationship. I have always maintained an open door policy. Have talk to her about boys,etc.

Ok here I go...last night I entered my daughter's room and saw her itouch and because of her behavior I pick it up. She panicked. I knew something was wrong. After a short struggle ove the itouch I discovered she has been texting with a 21 year old. I was not able to read what she texted becauce she deleted it however I saw what he texted and it was disgusting. Sexually explicit!! I sat with her and my husband (her father)and questioned her. We found out this began about a year to a year and a half ago. We are shocked and want to teach her a lesson and have placed a call to the young man's mother to have a meeting. He still lives at home with his mom. I reacted to the text and texted him back with our names so he knows my husband and I are aware...maybe I should not have done that but I never expected this. I am very upset. He is 21 for god's sake. I did call the police to ask some questions. I will be taking her to our family doctor. She had told us nothing has happened only a kiss and holding hands. We know better and do not believe much as I want to not think about my little girl has been acting out with a 21 y/o. I am very upset sick to my stomach. The influence he had with her...she has told us much more and I don't know if I should go ahead with the police. He is a adult, a man and should not have been behaving this way with a then 13 y/o who now is 14.

Has anyone been through this??

Thank you

One important detail...we know him...he is my husband's nephew. And he talks to her with very sexually explicit terms. For example He wants to c** in her, have s** with her. etc...

thank you,
from parents that are angry, disgusted and hearts are broken

Yes, you did the right thing!!!!! Yes, go ahead with the police report!!!!! Do whatever you have to do to protect your daughter at all cost.

I would consider getting your daughter into counseling. It might be easier for her to confide in someone outside of the situation. She has to somehow understand that there is something wrong with a 21 year-old that wants to date a 14 year-old.

You are on the right track. An adult man of this age has no business interacting with a minor girl of this age..and what makes it worse is he is related in some way which makes it easier for him to take advantage. Worry about your daughter and not the consequences of his actions on him. I would forbid any contact with him legally. I am as disgusted as you are hearing about this and unfortunately it happens more than we know. I believe legally..especially if you have the text you could procede with charges.