Confused and need help!!! :( - FamilyEducation
Confused and need help!!! :(
01/26/2009 at 18:07 PM

My fiance has a 9 yr old son who lives with his mother. We met in 2004 and he was going thru plms with his EX wife from '99 to '03 he had his vistiation taken away bc the mother made up lies so my fiance went thru alot.. IT WAS HARD so in 2006 We found out that mother doesnt live in Alhambra, CA she just disappered so i told my fiance. I went on the internet and found her living in Chino, CA so I helped go to court and found what forms to file and we served her. She nearly flipped! SO when we did go to court in aug she told the mediatior lies so they went in separately

They met up with the judge and she told him every lie you can think of so my fiance wouldnt get any time but the judge given sundays from 10am to 6pm bc she doesnt have a license or a car.

So again in Dec but She didnt show up to mediation bc come to find out the mothers boyfriend was in jail so he had an arraignment the same day as the mediation so she chose him than come to court for her son.

Dec Court She showed up late telling the judge to go ahead and give my fiance the weekends but the judge saturday to sunday but again court in March

March Court she was a whole different person she let him whatever he wanted so we got 1st,3rd,4th weekends, xmas day,thanksgiving day but the picking up halfway was still an issue that was an hour drive but we went ahead and suffered a 4 hour drive bc of the traffic we had to leave early to be there on time at 6pm

One year went by with a little bit of plms where the boyfriend didnt like that my fiance cousin and i would be at their house to pick up my fiance son he would give us dirty looks. One time when we did pick my Fiances' son early from school so my Fiance wanted to see what kind of homework and grades to see that he D's and F's so he called up the mother and asked her if you need help i could help him with homework or anything but she played it off saying yeaah ive been busy with my other kids so yeah but right when me and the cousin went to drop him off the mother and her boyfriends told the son to go in the house and the boyfriend did most of the talking telling us to tell my fiance that " it isnt his business to care abt his sons school work or any of the dr stuff or picking him early that he should back off and just enjoy the time he has the 1st,3rd4th weekends thats it but the boyfriend doesnt know the full story that my fiance was married to her and that the boyfriends daughter had my fiances' last name so we left

So my Fiance decided to go to court again for joint legal custody spring break and to split the xmas break so they went to mediation and they were there for the full 2 hours discussing on what to do she didnt want to give the xmas and spring break bc she didnt know the schedule but i had already printed out the calender for her so she agreed but did not want to give my fiance joint legal custody bc she was afraid that we might use that against her for being a bad mother.

After they left the mediation we seen that she went in line for the family law a week later to see that she filed to take our 4th weekend taken away and didnt want him to give the joint legal custody she dated the papers the 22nd but it was filed the 28th

They went to court the judge denied her request to limiting the dads time but gave them the xmas and spring break.. but the judge denied my fiance joint legal custody for not enough suffient evidence...?????..... so we left... We were in the car and she called my fiance cell phone and they were talking for abt an hour she was asking him what do you want? Pick up time early or meet halfway she said its our sons decision so ask him they got off

We got his son and we had asked him but the way he answered had a little confused bc ( you know how you can tell when kids are lying) we asked him do you want to be picked up at 6 or 230pm? he said that his mother told him to tell us that he wanted to be picked up 6pm

3 months later my fiance got a letter to show up for a child support hearing bc she wanted more money so i grabbed everything i could get food, clothes GAS receipts so we went to the court and we were waiting and we seen her come in but we thought we wernt going to talk but WEIRD she came up to us and all 3 of us started talking like if we didnt have any plms!!! so they got called in but all of a sudden they came out. they were in there for 5 mins! she had dropped it bc she told them that her and the father were okay that she didnt want to change anything.. (?? im alittle confuse bc we never wanted to have plms her and her bf were the ones that acting all crazy :D) so we stood outside for an hour and half talking

Here and there we pick him up at 230pm but we know that her boyfriend doesnt know whats going on between all of us bc the times we have to pick him up at 6 is when the bf is around.
Im still confused

1. How do we get evidence to get joint legal custody?
2. how do we get proof that the mother is driving has a car and is driving without a license?
His son has already been to 2 different apts within one year and 3 different houses between 2006-2008 and 3 different schools within 2 miles ( she doesnt want to get up and drive them to school)

His son rides his bike with his little 7 yr old sister without helmets to school

Could we call the school anonymously for them to tell the mothers that the kids needs helmets
just the other day it was raining and he was wearing shorts and a thin sleeve shirt

he has bruises on his arm and he says that him and the mothers bf were playing around?

What can we do? We can barely afford a lawyer

3 possible options: Get a lawyer, and hope for the best. From what you have stated, it won't help much. Or, find ways to learn to live with the situation. Or, get out before this whole crazy routine drives you crazy, too.