Are we bad parents????? - FamilyEducation
Are we bad parents?????
03/05/2009 at 00:35 AM

I have a question about taking my teen daughter to a resturant for her birthday. First off I got some unwanted advice that I was being a bad parent and need to go to parenting classes by my in-laws. Okay my daughter is 14 years old. For her birthday she wanted to get some BBQ my husband heard about this resturant that opened up named "Bone Daddys" now this resturant is kind of like a "Hooters" with the girls dressing in short shorts and short tops. Well we took our daughter there with our 3 other children and didnt see anything wrong with it, plus we were there. But since the altercation with my in-laws I cant help but wonder is it right or wrong? Then for her birthday party she wanted to go to a Karaoke place. Well we found one called "Family Karaoke" the only one that allowed kids in there and had private rooms to rent. Well another comment was made about the place we took her. Apparantly it was not good cause it was in a low income area and had strip clubs nearby. Again my husband and I were there and didnt see anything wrong with the actual place. So again are we being bad parents?

I would never offer this advice unsolicited and therefore, I believe you should tell you in-laws to "bud out" unless you ask for their opinion. They raised their own kids and now these are YOUR kids. Honestly, I don't think we should teach our 14 year old girls that walking around exploiting our bodies for money is okay. As women we have much more to offer. Having respect, honor and intelligence is what we should teach our girls is valuable about us. We are not just body parts walking around trying to get a big tip. I believe the message these places send to young women is damaging to all of us. As for the karaoke, your in-laws are trying to "build a case" against your parenting skills. The karaoke alone would not have been a topic of judgement, but coupled with the skimpy bbq place, they are trying to establish a pattern of bad parenting. When all is said and done, you are the parent of your children and you need to teach them what you believe is important. Teach your daughters respect for themselves and others and love them with all your words and actions.

I don't see anything wrong with any of that. First how old are your in laws? I have news for them...Women now work, Tv has more than 5 channels, and husband and wife sleep in the same bed. lol. As long as you and your husband were around I see nothing wrong with what you did. And no matter where you go there are going to be things, people,and places you don't want your kids subjected to. But sooner or later it's going to happen. But shielding them from it isn't going to make it better. That's where communication and being open with your children come into play. The more you hide them from things like that the more curious they become and I guarantee that when they get older they will explore on their own, and if you're not honestly and open they will explore it with out the knowledge or telling you! Your in laws sound like people living in the 60's

Thanks lindznbroo...My inlaws are in their 50's My husband and I talk to my oldest daughter about sex, drugs etc. Without getting too explicit of course. And she didnt see anything wrong with that either. Its not like she is going to work there or dream about becoming a Hooters girl when she grows up, LOL. I was laughing at your comment about TV has more than 5 channels and husband and wife sleep in the same bed, lol. Thanks for your input. It makes me feel a lot better. I love my children and would never do anything that will put them in any danger or hurt them, I mean what the heck they act like I wouldnt die for my kids. I want the same things for my kids that they do but I just dont go about it they way they want. Time is a changing and its not 1950 anymore!!!!!

"Its not like she is going to work there or dream about becoming a Hooters girl when she grows up, LOL." This made me smile because my daughter did work at Hooters for a short time when she turned 19. (One customer too many made comments about her body and she quit. I said "What did you think was going to happen there?!!!) When she as a teen, we took my daughter and her friends to many Hard Rock Cafe's and many rock concerts. We also talked to her very openly and she was a great teenager and fairly good young adult. Now at 25, she (and her 31 y/o married brother) is a stick in the mud! My husband and I go out more than they do! If you protect your children too much, they just want to do whatever they were not allowed to do. You being willing to go with them shows you are great parents. Continue to have fun with your children! It goes by fast and you will have a lot of terrific memories to share. Your in laws had the chance to raise their children the way they saw fit and now it is your turn to raise YOURS!

Just curious how old your other children were at the time you went to Bone Daddys. I personally wldn't bring my kids to a place like that at 14, but I don't think it's the end of the world that you did. It's not like it's going to damage them for life or anything. I think your in-laws definitely need to keep their comments to themselves. In the future, don't tell them these things if you don't want to hear their opinions about them. They're your children, not your in-laws'.