Mother Son relationship - FamilyEducation
Mother Son relationship
05/22/2007 at 18:33 PM

My 2 grandsons, 7 and 5 are beautiful boys.  My 7 year old is having anxiety attacks.  My 5 year is stuttering.  I have on many occasions witnessed my 7 year old being verbally and emotionally abused by  his mother and at the same time this woman treats my 5 year old grandson like a god.  She abuses her 7 year old ( its as if she hates him) but idolizes the 5 year old.  This causes me grief as my son does not want me to say anything to her.  He has taken the family for therapy but after 20 visits his insurance won't pay for any more visits until next year.   This is no good, these kids need help.  This selfish woman does not see what she does to these kids.  Is there any type of video / audio program that will help my 7 year old?  It kills me to see him  have these attacks.  His mother constantly complains about him.  She wants to put him on drugs, that would dumb him down so she don't have to deal with him!  HELP!!!!!

Hi Ore


It must be hard as a grand-mother to have to watch and keep your opinion to yourself.  Does your son talk to his wife about these problems even though he doesn't want you to say anything. 


I don't know of any video tapes that would help with the anxiety problems.  Is there any way that you could help pay for more therapy sessions or that they could talk to the therapist and see if he/she will reduce the rate since insurance isn't covering them anymore?


Just keep loving those kids and be the best grandmother you can be and help out any way you can.


Please keep us posted on how it goes.




Thank you Marti for your reply.

I did tell my son I would help pay, but he now made an appointment with the pediatrician to see what other methods are available right  now.  I was there this weekend and my daughter in law was always yelling at the 7 year old.  I finally her told her to stop it we had guests, let him be.  Boys will be boys, they fight, run around, argue etc.  She just can't handle them.  The 5 year old had a splinter in his foot so when she tried to remove it, he was screaming and carrying on !  She then pushed him away from her and said get away from me you're crazy.  Meanwhile, she let him go outside without any shoes on.  I just hope when my son takes his oldest to the Doctor that he can recommend a specialist that will help.  I think my daughter in law had some issues growing up and it is still bothering her and takes it out on the oldest OR she is still suffering from post partum depression?  I think she needs help!  Serious Help!  Well I will wait and see what happens next.   Please keep them in your prayers and thanx for letting me vent!





Your DIL reminds me of our DIL - except the elder child is a girl. But, I really don't think that she likes the younger child better than the older child; he's just quieter. I believe that our DIL has a major personality disorder called Borderline Personality Disorder or BPD for short. Could this be the issue with your DIL? Just wondering ...

If your DIL is truely abusing your grandson then there is no reason to be polite. Tell her that you think she is abusing her 7 year old. It sounds like your son is not stopping the abuse so he is just as much to blame. He should divorce his wife and take the children away. He should subpoena the therapist testimony and save his child. Maybe then the mother can get on medication as opposed to the child. None of you should tolerate her behavior. If you don't stand up for the 7 year old then who will???