Dating a lesbian mom with an ex (co-parent) - FamilyEducation
Dating a lesbian mom with an ex (co-parent)
07/03/2007 at 16:08 PM

I'm wondering if anyone can suggest any books that relate to dating a lesbian mom and dealing with an ex of her's that she consider's a co-parent of her child.

My girlfriend and her ex met while her son was 2yrs old, the relationship lasted for five years. The ex did not want to orginally date a woman with a child but grew found of being in a family. Now it has been about 2yrs since there separation and six months since I have been dating the mother.

My issue is I feel wired about the ex being the co-parent. Where does this leave me down the road...when we are to move in together?

The ex has never been a financial supporter of the child but an emotional relationship is there. The ex considers my girlfriend and her son her family. I'm not looking to stop this support for the child but ways I deal with my girlfriend ex.




    i just want to pass comments to u at this situation that u should look after to your child coz as u said that there is no financial supporter for him/her so i just try to help u out by saying that first u should look after to u child.thats it.

but i dont understand why dont u stop this ex with ur friend.if u hv feelings for ur child so plz first look after him/her ok........... 


Hi VespaBlue,

Ok where do I start. I once dated a woman with 2 children, 2 boys. That I came to love dearly. I more or less stepped in for their biological father. I was the first woman she dated. We were serious for about 3 years, then fell apart.

The girlfriend she took after me, was very mean and verbally abusive to her boys. And most of all, she hated me. My name wasn't to be mentioned in the house or in her presence at all. But her boys always talked about me and the time they spent with my daughter, my current partner and me.

Now she is no longer with that woman. After one visit to the movies with the boys and my current family, her girlfriend left her. She'd "had enough" she said. My ex and I are still very close. Even though she lives out of state with the boys and her newly committed life partner (that has no issues with me or her boys at all), we are still very close and friends.

So, it doesn't matter if the ex is/was a financial supporter of the boy or not, she is his other parent and you can still love that little boy like you're his co-parent. Just think of it this way...he has more mommies that love him. Her ex is his co-parent...just like in a hetero'd have your place and his father would have his. It's not about you, it's about that little boy. There is nothing wrong with you loving him like he's yours.

And not jinxing anything here...but who's to say that in 5-6 years someone else won't be in your shoes...asking the same question about you, once you build your bond with him?

Good luck in this.