concern for children - FamilyEducation
concern for children
05/21/2007 at 11:01 AM

I am a divorced father of 3 ( 10yo boy, 9yo girl ,5yo girl ). My ex-wife started hanging around a neighborhood family about 3 months ago.  They have a 15yo boy, and 14 yo girl in high school.  This family is at my ex's house every single day and night. The mom is there every night smoking and watching TV with my ex. The kids spend every weekend and holiday with this family, and not much time with friends their own age. My 9 yo talks non-stop about her friend who is in high school.  There was also an incident in which my son came to me with. This 15 yo high school boy was talking to him about restraining and doing sexual things to some girl. I talked to my son about it, and told my ex I was concerned.  After I voiced concern to his mother, my son said he made a mistake and the kid didnt really say it. I asked where he heard it then, and he has no answer. I am concerned about the safety of my kids, and the fact that the ex seems more concerned about her friendship with this women than her kids. She now tells me they are good people, and have a "family relationship" with her and my kids. This seems like an awfully FAST and somewhat strange relationship.  Do I have right to be concerned?



Wow, I think I would be concerned too.  Do you have joint custody or anything like that?  I would continue to talk to my kids and to my ex so that you know what is going on and so that you can keep telling your kids about right and wrong.  As a general rule do you trust your ex-wife's parenting skills and judgement?  Is this out of character for her?


If it gets to the point where you are really worried about something bad happening to your children you can always turn to the courts to try and help you.  Do you know anything about the family other than what the teenager had to say?


Let us know what happens.




Concerned father,

I am happy to see that there are other parents out there in the same boat as myself.  I am a remarried mother of two little girls, 6 and 4.  My ex-husband has been dating his neighbor for some time (8 mo.) which she has two boys 10 and 8, they let them play together all the time.  I have the same concern as you do.  My girls have come home playing killing, they have seen porn and have quite the mouths on them.  I have expressed my concern to my ex and he says that I am overbearing.  Could you please give me advice, am I overreacting?  My new husband agrees with me and has also tried to talk to my  ex and my ex tells him that this is none of his concern.  My latest dilema is my ex wants to take the girls on a week vacation with his girlfriend, two sons and her mom and step dad, I am so confused and am scared that if I do not let them go he will take me to court and a judge will rip me a new one.  However, let me remind you that in the last 3 years we have been divorced, he never took the girls on any of the vacations he went on.  Please advise!!!

Worried mommy