You deserved it.
06/13/2011 at 22:43 PM

When I asked my mother why us kids were so severely hit, beat, belted, spanked, etc. she smugly said "You deserved it!" I was nearly 50 at the time and no longer AFRAID of her, so I told her "That's a rotten LIE. We never "deserved" any of that - we deserved sensible and adequate training and guidance, not spirit breaking ABUSE!" She quickly changed the subject!
It makes me sick when I hear adults saying they deserved what they got or that their kids deserved what they gave them. As though any punishment or "consequence" an authority mets out is JUST FINE (so long as the victim is helpless!) and then the sad victims turn around and proudly claim they deserved it also! I might deserve a ticket but not a whipping by a police officer! Would a judge say "You deserve a beating" as an appropriate and sensible CONSEQUENCE for your misbehavior? So why is it OK to hit, beat, spank, etc. defenseless kids as a just and well "deserved" consequence?
Our parents beat and spanked us only BECAUSE THEY COULD and then covered up their CRIME with the LIE that we deserved it. An abuser can come up with any "reason" they want when there is absolutely no consequence to the abuser for their actions.
You didn't deserve it and your kids don't deserve it. We all DESERVED reasonable and useful GUIDANCE or Discipline (training), not savage brutality or some little old spanking!
So, did you "deserve" what you got? Is so, exactly why?