Wife and I don't really agree on spanking - FamilyEducation
Wife and I don't really agree on spanking
07/05/2013 at 16:02 PM

I posted this another website but I didn't get any feed back that was helpful

I just recently got married a few months back to my longtime girlfriend who is now my wonderful new wife Sydney who is the mother of an amazing 9 year old Madison who I love very much have known since she was 4. I myself have an amazing daughter Savannah who is 8 and who has always wanted a mother since hers passed away when she was 3. My daughter Savannah loves Sydney so much and is always hanging on to her and listens and gets along so great with her step sis Madison as well.
My problem is I don’t really believe in spanking, I don’t frown on someone who uses it or disagree with it but with my daughter has never been spanked. Sydney my wife is firm believer is spanking and these past few month she’s had to spank Madison a few times and Savannah is confused about why Sydney punishes her daughter that way and why she get grounded.

Today both girls got into a little trouble with the sitter causing a conflict with the couple that lives across the street. Sydney has been talking with me and trying to get me to let her take over more of the discipline with Savannah. She thinks we need to sit down with Savannah and see how she would feel about Sydney punishing her the way she does Madison. Tonight Sydney wanted to spank Madison but I talked her out of it and told her we will talk with both the girls tomorrow about the discipline problem. For today they were sent to bed early and will be grounded tomorrow meaning so swimming like they had planned.
I guess I’m just asking for advice from any parents and step parents out there on what I should do? Should I stand my ground and say no to spanking Savannah or should I allow Sydney to start. I know she is a great mother and both girls love doing things with her and look up to her a lot. Savannah has been calling Sydney mom for over a year now and I know Sydney loves Savannah just as much as Madison so I’m just so confused on what to say or where to go from here…

You will find the issue of spanking very controversial in this forum and you may like to look at some of the older threads in regards to it. I personally don't spank and it would be thought outrageous if I did considering I am an Early Years Practitioner. Each to their own methods. Your children are older now however so that should make it easier to discuss things with them and negotiate. Punishments as you have said can be grounding, and also removal of privileges, , monetary punishment (taking away pocket money etc) try talking first.