Do we have any parents out their that just expect their little kids, ages 5 and up, to do what they tell them. I just don't buy into all this reward style parenting. Sure give them praise, make your expectations realistic but I am conern about parenting turning into a game. Sometimes doing it because I said so should be enough. My goal is for them to internalize my value system and to see rules as their friend, as they keep them safe. I explain why they should follow the roles not only in our house but how it will impact them in life. I just get the feeling that some folks think everything should be done on a positve note. Well lets face it life doesn't work that way in the real world. Aren't we setting our kids up for failure? My mom listened to my every word and ussually gave in to me. This tought me how to manipulate and expect life on my terms. I am not going to raise my kids this way. Just as much as my kids are testing me I need to be testing them, and pushing them to be more in control of their own behavior. If I am always taking temptation out of their way, sure they won't get in trouble but they won't have learned how to say no to themselves. I am choosing to do the hard parenting now when they are little and still think I hung the stars and the moon so hopefully when they are teens my values will be theirs. This means we have rules if broken they get in trouble. If I say no that is end of story. If they disobey they get a spanking, time out or loss of privledges and if they lie they get a BIG spanking. I would like to know why you have choosen to abandon or stick with old school parenting.