Help! 5 yr old won't stop very inappropriate behavior. - FamilyEducation
Help! 5 yr old won't stop very inappropriate behavior.
10/23/2008 at 00:44 AM

My 5 yr old girl has displayed inappropriate behavior involving her private parts on several occasions. I  got a phone call from her principal telling me that she had lifted up her dress and pulled down her panties, showing her privates to a male classmate during class while the teacher was turned around. She admitted to doing it and told the principal that she had also done it to another boy at school.(or on the bus). Just a short while ago she got into trouble on the bus. She was raising her legs in the air, spredding them open and a boy hit her in her private area. After he did that she started telling him to do it.She knows that what she is doing is not appropriate and that she shouldn't be doing it, yet she still does it. I have tried talking to her, time out, (kind of)grounding her, taking away privilages...but NOTHING has worked. What should I do to make this behavior stop?!? And make her realize how serious the situation is at school? Please give me some suggestions or advice on how to handle the situation. What kind of discipline should be used?  I really don't know what else to do.

First of all I would leave the dresses in the closet. A pair of pants with a belt might slow her down a bit. I found with my two boys that sometimes the punishments I was using were not getting my point across. Taking away their xbox, or TV time worked for a while, but I figured that they loved going out and playing even more, so I take that away. I also make them write sentences about why they are in trouble. Good luck .

Also, make sure she doesn't have a urinary tract infection--go to the doctor, explain the behavior. the doctor may also have suggestions about behavior modification. And pants with a belt. Definitely.
there is also a question in my mind about if--not where but if--there has been inappropriate sexual acting out that she has observed/been subject to. JUST a question that you should try to find out an answer to.

I think pants with a belt is logical. I also believe you should monitor her televison and talk to her whenever she is accidentally exposed to innappropriate or amorous behavior (in public, on tv, media and even family behavior) example: She sees her aunt "flirting" with her uncle with a teasing touch or kiss - explain why it is okay for auntie and why it would not be okay for her... Just monitor her inneractions to see why she is acting this way...

Does your daughter do this at home too? Keep a close eye on her behaviors. This cld be innocent, or it cld be something more. If this behavior continues, however, I'd seek counceling for her. Good luck.

Good advice all around. This could be attention getting behavior or could be something deeper. Find a therapist very soon who is familiar with sexual acting out. Also, keep the school up on the actions you are taking. Punishments rarely work for this sort of behavior. Your daughter needs to have it explained to her in ways she can comprehend at her young age by a professional who can properly explain it to her that this is inappropriate and unacceptable behavior.