AHHHHHHHH!!! - FamilyEducation
01/28/2008 at 15:07 PM

I have a 8 year old daughter who I love very much, BUT, she constantly rolls her eyes at me and my Husband, talks back about everything, stomps to her room, slams the door and her favorite (seems like it anyway) is "leave me alone!" We've tried talking to her, taken previlages away, took her door off so she can't slam it, but no luck, it's like it doesn't matter to her. And on top of it she has her 6 year sister starting to act just like her, like one acting that way isn't enough!! HELP!!!


Nothing gets my kids attention as well as having to write sentences. I am in no way against spanking, and have used it when I deem it to be necessary, but I find that writing sentences is something they truly dread. To have to sit at the table and write while they would rather be playing or doing something fun seems to really make a lasting impression on them. This is not only a good way to get their attention, but it improves their handwriting as well. I also try to incorporate words which they are unfamiliar with, as a way of expanding their vocabulary.


You say you've talked to her.  Have you tried teaching her more useful ways of communicating?  I've mentioned this on another post, but I found a book at the Library a few years ago, and I'm sorry I don't remember the title, but it was put out by Boys Town and it was a manual for teaching social skills. 

   Because we already have a family tradition of a weekly meeting (with a lesson or activity, and singing and a treat), I taught the information in the weekly meeting, so that it was not in the heat of a confrontation, and it was framed as generally useful information, not "Jed, this is for you you better listen or else!"

  The manual had a section on something like "responding to a request from an authority figure."  Then it gave a model response, which was to say  yes sir or ma'am and comply unless there was related information that the authority figure didn't know.  In that case, you were to say yes sir or ma'am and then to say "Excuse me, May I tell you something?"  When the other person agrees, and the other person might not, then tell the related information.  An example is, when Mom says "shovel the driveway" you say yes ma'am, Excuse me, may I tell you something?" and when she agrees you can tell her "I think I broke my collarbone." 

   You could even teach this in the context of what to do if a policeman stops you.  I read another post about some teenagers who were searched by a police officer, and the young lady wasn't defiant, but she insisted that a female officer be sent to perform the search on her.  Way to be!