9 year and listening - FamilyEducation
9 year and listening
10/22/2008 at 15:25 PM

I have a 9 year old daughter who is normally a good girl, but sometimes she does not listen. When I tell her to do something, she will take her time doing it and the only way to get her attention is to yell. Which I hate. Sometimes she will get an attitude as well. Other excuses that she will use are  she forgot or that she didnt hear me. What should I do? Also in school they mentioned that she could listen a little better. They believe the problem is that she talking to her friends and doesnt hear what the teacher is saying. Please help.

I also have a 9yr.old daughter, sounds alot like yours, good girl, talking, & listening, ect.. When I say something to her, and I want something done I'll have her repeat what I just said to her. Then I tell her to go do, without delay or question. When I call her, and she doesn't reply, I have found at times, I need to go to her and ASK her if she heard me. She will sometimes reply just as yours does that she didn't hear me becasue she was just to busy in her own little world and really wasn't listening. I think even as adults we can do this, we shut out whatever noises we can when we are trying to accomplish some task. As for school, I haven't had the teacher remark on her listening skills. Though I know she talks alot at home...so she must at school. I think I would ask the teacher to move her to somewhere where she is not near friends and not avaible to talk with others. Maybe the front of the classroom or the very back row corner, so she is isolated for time till she can listen better. Knowing this is alot to add to a teacher's day. I would also ask her if she would help by having your daughter miss say five minutes of recess each time she is caught talking without being asked. My kids love their recess time, so five mintes is a really a hard on them. If you feel it' necessary, have your daughters hearing checked. This works two ways, you find out if there really is a problem, and you can also use this to teach her the importance of listening. I've sat down with my daughter and held conversations about how she would feel if I would ignor her words or couldn't listen, I ask her how she feels if friends don't listen when she speaks. Also adding the respect she shows me and others by her actions, I do this all in a whisper mode. As she really has to listen to what I say then. I also use the whisper mode along with sign language on certain days to get everyone's attention. My children find learning ASL fun and will ask what words mean and sometimes will reply with learnt words. Our daughter has perfect hearing by the way. So I think some of her lack of listening is just part of growing up and the excitement of being with friends. I've never allow it to become disrepectful and it hasn't affected her grades. Most of the time she is a happy child and I understand puberty comes earlier these days. So I am trying to be careful about what things rate as attitude or something else. I hope this has given you some hope in that your not alone in this, and possibly a few ideas. By the way I've used yelling, it doesn't work does it. It seems the only one affected is you. Becasue you are upset and have allowed yourself to get that way.