8 yr old daughter stealing from me & lying about it
01/23/2012 at 08:39 AM

Not sure what to do about this issue. My 8 year old daughter sees things I have, takes them and then lies to me about it.

I think it also needs to be said that spanking, time outs, taking things from her, any discipline in general does not work with her.

This morning she stole my new lip balm, put it in her pocket and the proceed to lie about having it. It was not until she was almost going to get on the bus that she gave it back. We're trying to teach her that asking is better than just taking, but she seems to not be getting the message. I found that I was angrier about the continuous lying than the stealing.

Last month she wanted my MP3 player, so she took it and put it in her DS case, and lied when asked if she had it. She's also getting into thinking that she needs a bra, and stole one of mine.

Any advice on how to stop, curtail or get her to fess up? She always acts so unaffected by my frustration or any questions we ask.

We think she has ADHD on top of it all, but have been unsuccessful in finding a psychologist to get her assessed. It's difficult to get some of these lessons across to a kid who acts like you aren't talking to them (she doesn't look at who is speaking, doesn't acknowledge you, just stares off at whatever, or she's grabbing whatever is in front of her and playing with it) or jumping right to a temper tantrum.

We have a 2.5 year old too, and he's picking up on her strong will, and beginning to emulate her behavior. She's very strong willed, and quite often will do what she wants no matter how many times she's been told not to.

Though the stealing is an issue, the lying bold faced is what has me angry and needing advice. Guilting her into the truth, giving her opportunities to tell the truth, and just the fact that you tell her you know she's lying does nothing.

Are there anyways we can teach her honesty and integrity that might work?

If you give in and let her back into your bed, you have to start over from scratch again. That means you have to be tough on yourself. It would be easier for YOU to give up, but if you do, that means that SHE has to start over at the beginning. My advice is, just keep at it until she understands that this is the way it will be from now on. My very dearest friend has an 18 year-old daughter who would not sleep alone until about 3 months ago. The family had been through a lot of trauma, and the mom just decided it wasn't worth the fight.

cid
28568