3 year old out of control - FamilyEducation
3 year old out of control
01/08/2012 at 09:36 AM

I dont know what to do anymore. Myparents are being ridiculous. They tell me that I am so mean to my daughter when I have to fight her to eat, fight her to go to bed and fight her to get her hair done and get dressed. I am so @#$%% sick of it! Im so ready to scream and tell them off! I cant take anymore. Today I am trying to get her hair brushed and my mother is letting her get away with her doing her hair instead of me and she says in front of her that I am so mean to her. So now my daughter is calling me mean. The other night I fought and fought and fought to get her to bed and my mother allowed her to stay up. I cant be a &%#@*& parent in this house and Im full of pent up anger and Im gonna blow! What do I do? My parents wont allow me to be her parent at all. They continuously tell me that I am so mean to her and how Im not a nice mother, so she runs around telling me Im mean and stuff. What do I do? Help!!! Im really close to exploding! My daughter is out of control! And my parents make meout to be the bad guy, constantly. But now my daughter wont even listen to me at all!

Your parents are treating you like you are still their child, which you are. If you can find the resources to be independent of them, that would be best. Do you have a social worker who can help you?
cid
28514

Your parents still thinking you as child.... you problem get solved once u sit and explain with them.. may be it takes some time..... Good luck...
cid
28515

i agree your parents are still thinking of you as a child, you need to get your own place if your still living with them. you also need to tell your mother that she is not the mother to her you are. and tell her she is teaching your daughter to be dissrespectful to you by calling you mean.. and that she is making it hard for her and you... i wouldnt put up with it. get out and your daughter will be fine
cid
28516

I tell her constantly that I am my daughter's mother. And that I am the parent not her. But she just doesn't listen to me at all. I have tried talking to her numerous times but it doesnt seem to work. I don't have a social worker but I did. Then I moved in with a friend for a month and that worked well until I crashed my car.Then I ended up back home, in hell.I just dont know what to do anymore. I was on section 8 housing but I let it go because I was sick and so was my daughter.Plus I dont have a vehical anymore to go look at places so now Im stuck home without a car.I lost my job in may because I took too much time off to take care of my daughter when she was sick.I didnt give 24 hour notice before using vacation time. So I feel like Im in hell.I try to just keep busy and do what needs to be done, but it doesnt work.It seems like Ive always been the bad one in the family.A child out of wedlock,Didnt finish college.Lost my job.Crashed my car.I dont know.This just sucks.
cid
28517

I think you are right. This stinks. You need to figure out what your goals are for your family. Then you need to write them down, and write down a plan for achieving those goals, and get some help--probably at the employment office. PS. Your folks didn't have to take you in. I know that doesn't excuse them undermining you, but back home 'in hell' is obviously better than the alternatives.
cid
28519

I think that the responsible thing to do is to suck it up and be nice until you have the resources you need to be out on your own.
cid
28520

Thats what Im doing but I dont know how to live here without feeling like im gonna explode when they undermine me. thats the issue. Im waiting until I have the resouces but in the mean time, how do I handle this?
cid
28524

Do you have any siblings that have children? Perhaps if one of the 'good kids' could tell your folks what is a reasonable bed-time, it would help with that battle. Some of it you are just going to have to let go until you are on your own, but sleep is a health issue, that's the battle I'd fight.
cid
28525

Well. My sister has a son and he always goes to bed on time no problems. But she is the good daughter and can never do wrong. Im the failure. She also thinks that she has to tell me how to raise my child. SO I really dont know how to live here and take this bs. Im trying to just be here and try to teach my child but it is always a struggle.
cid
28526

That's what I'm saying--If SHE can tell you (and your mom) that the kid needs to get to bed at a reasonable hour, maybe that would help.
cid
28527

no it doesnt help because then she gets bossy about how im raising my daughter. plus how can my prissy sister telling me what to do help me?
cid
28529

If your mom heard from her that bedtime was important, then maybe your mom would help with that. If your question is about how to protect your daughter's health, then the first step is getting her enough sleep, healthy food, and activity.
cid
28530

My mother knows how important bedtime is. She is just tired of the war of getting her to bed. Its just very hard. I dont know!
cid
28531