11 year old who won't apply herself in school - FamilyEducation
11 year old who won't apply herself in school
03/12/2010 at 13:51 PM

My oldest daughter is 11 and in 5th grade. She rushes through her work all the time and then can't remember what she learned. She acts like she doesn't care at all.

I have tried to talk to her, help her with her homework, punish her for bad grades and nothing seems to work. She just got an ipod for Christmas and it's been taken away more then she's had it. Taking TV privileges away hasn't work b/c I have 3 other kids and one TV, so they get punished too then everyone is miserable. She's also not been allowed to go over friends or have anyone over for a week or two.

NOthing seems to work and I can't seem to get her to understand that next year in Middle School it's going to be A LOT harder and a lot more work.

Any suggestions?

Sounds like the fact that she enjoys her IPOD and loves going over friends homes could be that she is trying to isolate herself. When a person is not inspired by school study becomes very difficult. Try making her passion for social contact with friends work on your behalf. If you know any of her friends that do well in school, speak to their parent and make arrangements for your daughter to do homework with this other student at the other students house. The other child's inspiration could rub off on your daughter and the fact that your child is in different surroundings may make her look forward to studying in this new way.

I am actually taking psychology 101 and I am going to work on a behavior modification plan, on myself. This is going to be following up on my son to do his homework. i have been internet surfing on ways to get him to do homework and the best one I have found is to : Make them do it as soon as they walk threw the door. They can have a snack but cannot do anything till it is completed. This way school mode is still on, and when they are done they can play or what not. Letting them play then getting them to do homework not an easy task when they are already having fun. Good luck to you and me, hope that helps.

Actually, its not that much harder in middle school. This seems like a tough problem to me though, cause I understand why she doesn't want to do the work and why she doesn't care (I didn't either at her age) You're going to have to find a way to make homework fun for her? Maybe if punishing her for not doing the work doesn't work than you should try rewarding her for the work she does do. Try something like money or ice cream. Like "If you do your work and you get a C or better I'll get you an ice cream at the end of the week" Or "Do your work and you'll get $20 at the end of each month". All kids are different, you cant use the same parenting skills on all of them.

Thanks for responding. My rule has always been to do homework as soon as they get home from school, so the homework thing isn't a problem. Her biggest problem is classwork and other projects she has to do. I'm very familiar with the differences between middle school and elementary school in my area. I currently have a son in high school, so I know that things will get a lot harder next year. That's why I'm trying to get her on the right path now.