10 year old is disrespectful
04/28/2009 at 13:49 PM

I am a single mother to a 10 year old boy, I do everything I can for my son and he has no respect for me! It’s not like he’s lacking affection, I show him lots of it, and there isn’t a day that goes by that I don’t tell him that I love him.

I had him when I was young, his dad has not been in his life consistently but my dad and my 2 older brothers have always been father figures to him. I also have a boyfriend that I’ve been with for 2 years that will do anything for my son.

In school, he’s the perfect kid, always on the honor roll, no discipline problems, etc... But outside of school, he’s a totally different kid, ALWAYS back talking, mumbling under his breath, always have to have the last word, and the things he tells me is unreal, this morning he even if’ed at me. (Acted as if he would hit me).

I know every 10 year old probably goes through the back talking stage but the way he talks to me is so disrespectful. I’ve tried spankings, punishment, taking away privileges but nothing seems to bother him. I can sit him down and have a heart to heart with him and the “good kid” act only lasts for a couple of days, then he’s back to the disrespectful son again.

A couple of weeks ago, he took $20 from his grandmother’s house and tried to lie to me about it, several months ago he tried taking money off my dresser, too. I feel as if I’m failing as a parent, I’m raising him the best that I could, I just don’t know what to do. I told him that he’s going to end up in a juvenile center if he doesn’t straighten up. It’s not like he’s out running the streets, our day is pretty much- school, then sports then home. Maybe I should punish him from his sports but I would rather have him in sports than have him in front of play station every day.

What scares me the most is that he’s only 10. I need to get him in line before he’s 14 or 15 and he’s bigger than me!
Please give me advice!

When my kids are out of line, I notice that I have slacked in my follow thru. My children are younger. My wife is who is a praised educator with admin experience as well really has a handle on them. When our kids do something wrong, she is very calm and says, "Was that a good decision? We've discuseed this..." Then she states the punishment and sticks to it. Even when it ruins our fun or etc. and will not budge. Where I will threat on and on until I loose it. Her method works soooo much better!

cid
12802

Good advice, jos. Take away sports AND playstation if you have to. Do whatever it takes to get that respect back. You also have to take a look at yourself and ask, why is my son doing this? Give your son his independence to do what he wants only if he earns your trust and it's a reasonable request. Don't say no to every little thing or your son will probably end up rebelling. Respect him, and he'll respect you. As for the stealing, your son needs to understand the severity of his actions. Maybe you can make him "pay back" the $ by doing chores around the house and helping his grandma w/ her needs. Try to nip this behavior in the butt now, before things really get out of hand. Good luck!

cid
12967