Cyber sex search - FamilyEducation
Cyber sex search
08/30/2010 at 05:05 AM

I am married for two years it was a love marriage for 7 years..occasionally I find my husband visiting adult website ..though I was hurt but ignored since its of no point fighting...few months back I found his profile being updated in sex search that he is interested in carrying relationship but that has to be a secret...I was very upset though I saw that profile My heart was not ready to accept the fact and some how got convinced that my husband is loyal...what he says is it is just fun and he gets satisfaction in watching porns and chatting...I also found him flirting with his colleague...Again he said he is very loyal it is just talking ...I seriously dont understand what is his problem? Is he not in love with me any more or he has some abnormality...What to do? How to handle this situation?

I don't want to generalize here, but I will. For most men, sex is more physical than emotional. Viewing porn is not a warning sign of infidelity, but starting a profile and chatting with other women sure is. I believe there is more to cheating than just the physical act of sex. When his time and attention are diverted from his family and redirected towards someone he desires to be with, he is cheating in a psychological sense. Some say this is a warning sign, I say it’s cheating. I have a close friend who started doing the same thing, and ended up cheating on his wife for some time. The wife just recently found out, they are divorcing, and his children now have to deal with a broken home because their father could not resist his urges. Having urges is not the issue; it’s how we act on them. I wonder if your husband would buy the same excuse if he found you chatting with other men on an adult sex site. What he is doing is disrespectful and demeaning towards you, he needs to stop, or you need to consider moving on. You started two other threads about how your husband acts with his sister. I read the things you wrote and figured they were close and maybe your emotions were getting in the way. After reading that he is chatting with other women on sex sites, I can’t help but wonder if his feelings towards his sister run deeper than they should. I may be way off base here, and I hope I am.

Thanks for that...I am also worried about...he loves me so much and cares really well for me but these things scare me a lot...I can never cheat on him even in my wildest dreams and he knows that well..but certain things all ways make me think beyond as u said...