Tattling Behavior- how to approach the teacher? - FamilyEducation
Tattling Behavior- how to approach the teacher?
02/18/2011 at 19:29 PM

My kindergartener has recently been having alot of issues with behavior, especially at lunch. The teacher uses a green, yellow, red system and he's on yellow about once a week, but never on red- I always make a big deal about days he is on yellow, such as he has no proviledges that afternoon at home (no computer, TV, video games, etc. ) However, lately the incidents are so petty that I have been making the punishment last only for 20-30 min. b/c quite honestly I don't agree with him getting a yellow for such a behavior. The latest one was he was given a yellow for putting the bread from his hot dog on his head during lunch! like really, how silly is that? instead of just ignoring it...and then he was asked to sit away from his class for a whole week because of this even on days in which he was on green! Which I don't agree with EITHER, for a 6 year old something that happened 2 days ago feels like 2 weeks ago....the consequences have to be very immediate! And on top of all that the biggest problem is that all of these times he's getting on yellow due to lunch behavior it's because other kids are tattling on him b/c of course the teacher doesnt eat with them to see this. So how do I NICELY say to the teacher that she has a tattling problem! and that I don't agree that my child should be put on yellow b/c another tattles on him for such silly behavior. Please give me some advice on how to approach this, I see my child is starting to get this bad behavior label on himself and I don't like it one bit! Otherwise he does not get one single time on yellow for misbheavior in the class and in my opinion that is what she should be focusing on! Also, if anyone thinks that I'm just making too much of this and taking it personally I would also like to hear that as well.

Make an appointment to see her. Then let her do most of the talking. If you go in ready for confrontation then that is what you'll get, instead of a solution. Listen, ask relevant questions, don't try to prove your point. Figure out a way for her to focus on your boy's classroom behavior.

Even though the teacher does not eat with the children there are adults in the room. The information is probably coming from an adult. The child probably has been warned not to play with his food many times. So the real problem is his refusal to obey the rules ! To me it doesn't matter where the disrespect for the rules happens in the classroom or the lunchroom. Rules need to be followed !!!! To expect a child to eat his lunch and not play with his food is a resonable expectation even for a six year old.

You are a parent & taking things personally, is what we do. I to have gone through situations that i don't agree with. I always ask my child b4 i plan my punishment, as to what happened & if they are telling the truth.(you can tell) I have noticed that sometimes things are confused because the teacher writes the letter for the wrong student. They often just go along with whoever is watching the 100 or so students eatting & then the whole situation was not seen. In the long run you are the parent & after you talk with you'r child you feel like they did nothing wrong, then do nothing except reinforcing how important it is to pay attention & learn, while at school. I do that every morning b4 they go to school. Mothers intuition is a wonderful gift!