Bullying on bus
08/07/2007 at 13:45 PM

My 11 year old son is getting bullied at the bus stop by a 13 yr old. This kid has always been a problem in the neighborhood but his parents do nothing to discipline him. I don't think they really believe their son is doing anything wrong. He does things to humiliate my son, like come up behind him and steal his backpack or verbally harrass him in front of the other kids. My son doesn't want to make things worse, so he tries to ignore it, but I know it is getting to him. He says he doesn't want us (his parents) to get involved, but I don't think he can resolve this on his own. Any suggestions?

Hey nickerjack,

Wow, I know how hard this can be--I think you should tell your son ways to handle it as best he can and if it continues, you may just have to get involved somehow.

The good news, if there is any, is that your son is learning how to deal with difficult people---a skill he will use throughout his life.

Keep us posted on how it goes.

Marti

cid
43

Wow! This is just like what happened to my son, though the ages are different. My son is 8 and the bully is 9. The bully is also a neighbor and is often my son's "friend" when there's no one else to play with. The family lives right across the street from us and I get together with the mother and other neighbor ladies once a month. So this was a REALLY touchy subject. For me, though, the trouble on the bus reached a climax at the bus stop in the morning and my son came running home crying. I was just livid! Once everything calmed down, I drove my son to school and talked with the principal. I told him I needed his help because I was so angry and was afraid of what I might say or do to the other boy and his friends that all joined in on attacking my child that morning. And that was the best thing that I did. The principal pulled in first my child to talk with him about the incident, and then one by one he talked with the other children. He made it clear that riding the bus was a priviledge and that he could easily take that priviledge away. And of course he made it clear how happy their parents would be to hear that. And since then, the boys have stopped bullying my child. I know my son is younger, but maybe it will still help.  It's worth a shot. Good luck.

cid
112

My eleven year old daughter had the same problem with bullies, she came home and told us about it, and we told her how to deal with it. Nothing worked.  My husband called the principle and she did nothing. I finally had to e-mailed the superintendant, and i got a phone call back within two hours. Her assistant principal drove to my house to try and deall with the situation.  The best part?  Most busses today have video cameras on them so they catch everything that happens, all your son has to do is come home and tell you, you call the principle and tell them to view the tape of the specific day. You are not dragged into it in front of the bully, so there are no consequences for your son.

cid
233

I also agree that if the bullying is that severe, then you and your husband should get involved.  I dont know what state you live in, but certain states such as the state that i reside in (missouri) have anti-bullying laws.  Which makes bullying against the law, no matter what the extent may be.

 

 

cid
340

well im a teen myself and i think u telll him2 stand up 4 him self and maybe the bully will leave him alone let him know that he is not afraid of him!!!!

cid
1941

look you need to let you son take some steps before he blows up on the other boy (bully) has the principle bin told? If you have taken all steps to resolve and this bully is still going. You need to encourage him to be better than that and laugh it off. that will hurt the bully more. now if he touches you son first then support your child to pertect himself. Only if bully touches him first.

cid
1945

Hi,

I'm 11 and I mean just a week a go I solved this problem. There was this boy on the bus well actually several and they bugged me so much. They would say"you have a unibrow u know that." or "you have a mustache." Well I think the best way to fix this is to tell your son to try to find what they say funny like they do and it soon may become so. There is still one boy who tries to bug me and fails miserabley. OI also told the bus driver out of school and then she told one of them she knew. The funny part was when the other boys found out one of them said."Madisons not a tattle tail" even though I had been. Even when I confessed he was totally cool with it. He still bugs me just his general additude. But now whenever he says something I just laugh along with everyone else.We don't talk much still but were cool.

cid
3282

Nickerjack,

Read the book "Please stop laughing at me" by Jodee Blanco. It deals with bullying and how the school system and parents can handle bullying on both sides. True you want a child to stand up for themselves but you also have to think, children are much different these days. There is something behind the bullying child that pressures him to become a bully. Read the book, it explains a lot.

cid
3624

Please get with the principal, and let him know or your childs teacher or both...talk also with the bus driver...maybe there is video cameras on the bus...and it can be checked out...if this doesn't work than get with the superintendent...also there are pamphlets out there at libraries, mental health and medical centers on preventing bullying...do get involved. Most school districts have an anti bully policy. I hope I helped...donna

cid
8266

This is so aweful! Who needs a camera? Your son told you he is being bullied and that is proof enough to be completely sickened by the situation. I'm so sorry because I can remember how horrible it feels to be bullied, but worse to see your child being bullied (it tears your heart out)...

Does your son have a friend to talk with at the bus stop? If not, tell him to act uninterested in the bully. Does he have a cell phone? Tell him to ignore mean words and just act like he is texting a friend or something. Maybe he can put his walkman on and completely ignore the bully.

I wonder if you tell your son to laugh it off them the bully will get mad and provoke the bully more?

Tell you boy that many people get bulllied and it is not anything to do with him. The bully is the one with the problem. Does he have an older sibling or friend who can walk with him on some days?

I'm sorry you are going through this, but take it seriously because this stuff can escalate into violence.

GOOD LUCK!!!

cid
8280

Does a child really have to be bused to school? Why not drive him? If that's not possible, consider homeschooling or changing schools or moving to another town. Not all schools and towns bus the kids.
Your child's safety shld be your # 1 priority. Screw the rules, and do what's best for your child.

cid
8318

I am 12 and doing an article on bus bullying. Our school has just started this thing called "PRIDE". It stands for "People respecting Individual Differences Everyday."I would recomend takling to some adult at the school, like a councelor or a teacher, but not nessisarily the principal. The councelor could go to the principal if needed, but could also do it by herself. Hope it helps!

cid
11845

i've seen this happen all the time. i just graduated high school last year, and when i iwould ride the bus i was the one who would step up and make the other kids stop bullying. no one would mess with me because i was usually the oldest on the bus and the only one who would stand up for myself. if your child is getting bullied on the bus and the driver or school district is not taking care of the issue the best thing i can suggest is having your child stand up for themselves. i've seen it work several times. bullies tend to pick on the ones they feel are weaker than them. if your child stands up to them and holds their ground hopefully the issue will stop.

cid
12558

whtny,
Good for you! You seem like a very mature individual w/ a mind of your own. I've seen all too often kids getting bullied and no one who wld stick up for them. Most kids just ignore the situation or get right in there and do the same thing. It's a shame that kids feel they have to follow other kids' leads just to fit in. It's great that you're able to see above the nonsense and stand up, not only for yourself, but for your peers. What a special person you are. Your parents shld be so proud!

cid
12660

My son has been bullied for years. The school does nothing. Last year he had his head smashed against the bus walls and the kid that did it was removed from the bus for ONE DAY! My son was very excited this year because he is an 8th grader and gets to sit in the back of the bus. There are 6th grade twins that kept telling him that he couldn't. The "Dean" got on the bus and told everyone that they can sit where ever they want. I believe it is because my son is the one who complained and I think he started the whole issue. When the Dean left the bus the teasing began. The twins started on my son saying that they are friends with the Dean, his wife, and one of the principals and that they will do whatever their Mom wants them to do. They swore back and forth at each other and my son said if they didn't stop he was going to "Kick their ass" Well, he was so upset that he got off the bus at an earlier stop and we had to pick him up. He was crying. In the meantime the twin called his Mom and told her something to really make her mad. She went on the bus YELLING where was my son and saying that she was suing everybody while using the F-word. Nice Mom. I wonder what she would have done if my son was on there. Well, on Monday, the Dean called my son in and screamed at him, did NOT let him tell his side, and told him that he is off the bus for SIX WEEKS and has TWO detentions. We are basically in shock. He didn't touch anyone, or leave he seat. It was verbal back and forth. We asked the bus driver what happened and she said Matthew didn't do anything. I have asked the Dean to get my son's side of the story and three days later he still has not asked him. We went through a very similar problem with my oldest. They kept blaming him until we had proof on tape. I am really thinking of getting a lawyer. I want to know what people thing. The punishment does not fit the "crime" The twin has not been disciplined at all. I have a muscle problem and cannot drive sometimes. Sorry to babble on.

cid
15432

A letter from a lawyer can do wonders.

cid
15441

Concerned,you are 100% correct.Im a mom who has a 14 year old who was a victim of a crime last year May 2009, by 3 bullies all captured on a bus video tape and by the bullies cell phone.They sexualy assaulted him on the front row seat just behind the bus driver.A video only captures a situation that may come about like my sons situation but the camera cant help during the situation.Buses need monitors no doubt as a bus driver doesn't have eyes behind his head or good hearing to know every childs movement.That same video tape that caught those 3 bullies also caught the whole bus load of children jumping and moving seat to seat ,strolling down the bus isle while the bus was moving.How safe are your children on the bus or in school.After the situation was handled by school officials then the school therapist gave us the wrong advice by sending my child back to school and that the bullies were suspended,no concern they said.I as a parent feared sending him back and even though the bus driver also was suspended I still felt like I should just keep him home and shelter him away from the school.But the therapist said that would be the wrong thing to do and he will be in safer hands in school.That wasn't the case after all.Now he had to deal with the friends of the bullies with no school officials around to watch out for his safety.My child is more safer at home where he has always been taught along with his other 7 brothers that to respect one another even your elders.We have always evaluated their gameplaying and things they watch on TV since that's where they get their most learning experiences from.Bus and school officails dont tolerate snitches or complainers who seek out help to protect themselves from bullies and no one leasoned to my child as this was an ongoing situation from the beginning of last school year.My son went on a 15 minute tortured trip from home to the school with no help at all even his cries couldn't save him.One child who stood up for him yelled and screamed and still no one listoned or helped him.I chosed to homeschool him and will be homeschooling my 2 younger children before they go into middle school due to the crime.We had to change our lives for the safety of our kids and nothing will ever change my mind to send them back.Parents need to be parents and teach your children to respect others and be their eyes and their ears,pay attention to them even when they are silent.

cid
18873

Talk to the kid parents and let them know what is going on the bus because I did and they got mad and started crying so just text me back thanks.

cid
26071