5 yr old not wanting to go to school - FamilyEducation
5 yr old not wanting to go to school
04/29/2009 at 10:16 AM

I have a 5 yr old daugther and a 18 month in day care. I am almost due. My oldest has all of a sudden does not want to go to school. Could it be the new baby that is coming? This has been very fustrating. I have talked to the teacher and she says she is fine but is very sensitive. I need some advice. What do I need to do? My husband and I have included her in everything we do.

Remind her that when the baby comes, you will have a few weeks off of work when all of you can spend some time together. Hold on until then.

Unknown I had this problem several times with my kids and handled it differently each time. First I would contact the teacher as you already did, and if nothing seems wrong I try to make small talk with them and figure out what's bothering them. Most of the time the problem was that they got teased by othe kids, and sometimes they were punished or threatened to be punished by the teacher. I also had a few times that a child became distressed when a teacher punished another child and they were afraid it will happen to them too. So depending on the situation that's how I handled it. If the child was teased by friends than I will discuss it with the teacher and tell her to keep an eye out. I will also talk to my daughter/son about ideas and ways they can handle the teasing and when necessary the right way of defending themselves. If the child is afraid of punishment I will go down to the school myself and settle it with the teacher, most of the time the teacher finds a way how to appease the child and this settles the problem. It did happen several times that a kid decided that staying home appears to be more fun, sometimes I said no problem but we still have to get dressed first, and by the time the child is ready he/she decided they do want to go. If by then they will still make problems I prepare a goodie for the kids to take for recess and when the child sees her siblings getting it she/he also wants to get one so I will say this goodie is just for the kids who go to school and that's when the child might change his/her mind. If this doesn't help either, I just let the child stay home a day or two making sure the child gets extremely bored and realizes that school is much more fun. Hope that helps. Lol

At five years old she should be able to articulate her feelings. Questions to ask:Do you miss me when you go to school? Why?Do you understand the importance of going to school? Why do you think I take you to school? Express how it is important that you know how she feels. Also let her know that you are doing things to make her happy.This interaction should become a daily thing until you see she is becoming relaxed. Books are also wonderful vehicles to opening up meaningful conversations. Ask the liberian about books on : School happenings,Parenting Jobs,etc....

It cld be the changes w/ the new baby coming. Has your daughter ever given you this problem before? Maybe you can visit the school and observe to see if there's anything going on in the classroom. Also encourage your child to talk openly about her day and her feelings. I love the idea of using books as a tool to get your child to communicate more. We did this w/ our kids and it definitely helped. You will be limited on time once the new baby comes, but get support from friends and family. This way you can spend some alone time w/ your daughter while someone watches the baby for you. I'm sure in time, things will get easier. Good luck, and best wishes w/ the new baby to come!