Annoying mother-in-law - FamilyEducation
Annoying mother-in-law
07/24/2010 at 08:39 AM

My mother in law helped my husband move into our new home while I had to be out of town. Knowing her habit of throwing away things, I told her not to throw away ANYTHING. I came back to the new house and noticed one of the bedsheets was missing. It was old and we had not used it for a while, but I had still kept it in case I ever need it. My husband was also puzzled about where it could go. We needed it because his sister and boyfriend were going to stay at our home and it was the only bedsheets that fit their bed. After we spend half a day looking for it, hubby decided to ask his mom if she had taken it. She said she had because she thought we did not need it. I was annoyed because we ended up going to the store to buy one at the eleventh hour. The only one they had that we liked was wrinkled. So I ended up spending 2 hours ironing it. One day I told my mother in law how her taking the bedsheets without telling us affected us, she got upset. I told her that she could just have told me that she was taking it. She said she did not feel the need to tell us because we are one family and she does not believe in 'mine' and 'yours'. She got so mad she told me she will never come to our home and hung up. I want to know if I was at fault in any way and how reasonable or unreasonable her behavior was.

This is my problem with the people who teach kids they "have to share." You DON'T HAVE to. I think you need to apologize to your mother- in-law for causing a problem between you. Then you need to supervise her when she is around your stuff. Be aware of the different way you feel about ownership than the way she does. This may be a cultural thing, it may be a mental health thing, it may be a character thing. After you figure out what kind of thing it is, you can decide how much you can trust your mother-in-law. I think the fact that the only thing you are missing after she helped you move, with her history of throwing stuff away, is a worn sheet which she did NOT throw away, shows that she was respectful of your wishes.

All this over a bedsheet? Let it go.