Adoption out of your own race
10/24/2010 at 10:45 AM

My husband and I are white. We have two bio children. We adopted two black children at birth. We love them exactly the same as we love our birth children. We do not even think about them being black. We have learned that racism is still in full existance. My husbands parents will not even acknowledge our adopted children. (Their loss!) All our children get along great. We have a very happy and loving family and our adopted children have been a total blessing to our family! When my black son was a baby I got comments from several BLACK women about how they disagree with a white family rasing a black child. I asked her is she or any of her black family has ever adopted a child and she said no. I think it would be ideal for adoption to be in the same race, but that is not possible if there is not a family of that race wanting to adopted that child. If we had not adopted our black son, he would have gone into foster care. There was not another family that wanted to adopted him. That was 15 years ago and more and more people are willing to adopt out of their race. That is wonderful since it keeps minority children out of foster care. If you are thinking of adopting, please consider adopting a minority child. It's a wonderful experience!

I'd go for a positive intervention. Any time that she is wearing her clothes correctly, acknowledge that. Perhaps provide some reward when you find her appropriately dressed. Is your son younger? Also reward him for being appropriately dressed. Have direct teaching about the times when clothing may be removed--bathing, a doctor's exam, when changing clothes.

Extra supervision is important. Also, try to discover if there is an event which has brought this behavior on.

If this were simple nudity, it probably wouldn't be alarming, but it seems to be engaging with a sibling, which does make it more troubling.

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It has happened twice now that we have noticed. We certainly now will not allow playing in eachothers rooms without one of us present.

My son is only 2, so at the point he doesn't know any better.

We do praise for positive behaviour, in all aspects of her day.

My concern is if something has happened to her, and she may not know its a problem.

Either way, will keep an eye out and see if anything happens again.

Thanks!!!

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25221

Oh my.

I think you have to understand that your daughter may not be understanding it at all. Maybe she pulls her pants up because she saw negative reactions from you when you catch her. But at six, I don't think that there's anything malicious about it.

More so with Asperger's. It will take a lot more patience in teaching her what right and what's wrong, but consistent positive reinforcement is what is needed. You are right to be alert, because it provides you the opportunity to keep an eye on her and give her positive reinforcement. As well as allow her to associate showing herself with something that's bad.

It might also help if you introduce a third stimulus. Like instead of reacting negatively to her behavior, you could tell her that it is wrong, each and every time she attempts to do it. Also, make sure that you explain to her when it is right to do it, like when taking a bath or changing.

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