15 year old daughter - punishment - FamilyEducation
15 year old daughter - punishment
10/13/2010 at 23:39 PM

Hello all,

We am having a hard time coming up with an appropriate disciplinary action for our 15 year old daugther. Without going into complete detail, here's a quick run-down.

The other night she and her 2 friends snuck out of the house after we went to bed. After several attempts to get the truth out of her, we found each of her reasons/excuses to be lies. Up to this point she swore up and down that she was at a friends house close by. We got a hold of her phone which she had "lost" and read the texts between her and some friends.

The texts included talk of booze purchasing and going to a party (it was homecoming). When the truth finally came out, we found out that she took one of our cars, drove around our town to a few stores and went several exits south to the airport to watch planes land/take-off with some friends.

Remember that she is 15 years old. She has never been allowed to sit behind the wheel of a car or had any type of driving lessons. The truth about this didn't come from her, but one of her friends fessed up to their parents and they called us about it.

Our current punishment is that she is not allowed to have a cell phone/internet/tv in her room for a month. However, that was before we found out the whole truth about her stealing our car to drive. We are currently thinking of taking her phone/internet/tv away for the remainder of the school year and not allowing her to get her permit at 16.

We are so in shock that we don't really know what an acceptable punishment should be for this. Does anyone have any input as to what would be a fair punishment?

Thanks in advance.

hi, tell her to just be cool and calm down im only 13 bout to be 14 next month and i dont do that stuff

Have you figured out if she is acting out as badly as the texts suggest, or if it is just big talk? Remember, the purpose of discipline is to teach, so first figure out what she needs to learn, then design the 'punishment' so that it helps her learn the behavior you require from her.

Have a talk with her and figure out whatt is going on. Peer pressure is such a big problem for teens nowadays especially to girls. Maybe what she really needs is a change of environment. A couple of months away with her so called friends. Have you considered military camps? It might sound extreme but these camps focuses on discipline and self-confidence. Military camps provide guidance to troubled teens. There are hundreds of military camps to choose from. Check all of them first before making a final decision.

I have always believed in "let the punishment fit the crime" so I would agree with not letting her drive. I made a similar mistake at her age, and didn't get my license for 7 months! It made a huge impression, especially since my best friend's birthday is close to mine and she got hers right when she was supposed to. Good luck!