14 YO daughter left home - FamilyEducation
14 YO daughter left home
09/26/2010 at 09:08 AM

6 weeks ago daughter left to live with ex
after a year of increasing leaving home, anger, arguments, failure to do homework, lying, mocking etc
she does not want to talk or see me at all
she came for a few arts things but left everything here
spent 700 on social worker, went reach out centre for kids, talked to her online guru who runs a teen chat line for 150 euro and is a phD student who told me I was emotionally unstalbe, and need helped, went to psychiatrist who said there is nothign wrong with me it is a situational crisis
talked to lawyers, crisis line for parents
she blocked me on skype, email, telephone
won't see me
at her father's she has freedom, no homework, sleep when she wants, interenet 24 hours *which was a big deal at my house as I disliked the online guru website all the time to the exlcuison of everything else, she can come and go, no chores no bathing

she only calls now when sh e wants something liek her passport for expensive school trips that I have to pay for

but even with a dsyfunctional relationship she does not even want that

how do I get her back?

Sounds like a very strong willed young girl. There are millions out there who are willing to give advice, myself included, but advice can differ from person to person, as you are finding out. So the advice I’ll give is to stop taking all the advice. Give yourself a day to sit and think about your next step. You have known this child from day one, who knows better how she ticks than you? Trust your instinct. Once you get her back home, cut the internet access and only allow it when she is listening to you. Go back to the basics of rewarding for good behavior and taking privileges away for disobedience.

tried that and she took extension cord to garden to take neighbour's wireless internet so she was sitting in the rain under the garden umbrella but still on the interenet if you are single dad how do you keep your kid at home?

Was the social worker any help?

sort of at first until social worker assumed she was coming for half the time and my daughter said " I never agreed to that" and did not want to go back if you have any ideas let me know tx for your concern