I sat in the bathtub after a long Saturday of cleaning. Lying exposed in the mildly hot water felt as if I was thawing. I stared at the silvery faucet and shower head, and the tiles. A thought came to mind, “You should slide under the water.” I indulged the thought for a moment. What would it feel like if I allowed my head to go under water? I denied the suicidal contemplation. My husband told me not to write about this, but I thought, “Why not?” There are many people who have thought about taking their own life. I would venture to say that almost everyone, at some time or another, has considered suicide. When life looks lifeless and hope has lost its optimism, suicide seems like an option. I found a poem that I wrote:
I feel like a bygone vase that was pushed off the table broken in little pieces.