I know why people abuse drugs: to alleviate the pressure of mental throbbing. My head is hurting and tears run down my face. I am tired. Have you ever felt like breaking down? That is how I am feeling. It all started because of a damaged file. I was asked to write a reference letter for a University of Massachusetts professor whose tenure is being reviewed. I spent yesterday morning writing the letter that is due in two days. I saved it to my USB. Later I open the document to re-read it, and a box appeared on the screen that said, “Word experienced an error trying to open the file. Try these suggestions…” I slowly back away from the laptop, because if I don’t, I am going kick it off the bed. I am upset because I don’t want to rewrite the letter. This is deeper than just the file; I am very tired. I am pressured at work, supervising a consultant who is doing everything but what I ask. I am overseeing an asset mapping community project, and our monthly meeting is tomorrow. My pastor is bothering me about the third-floor space for the teen center. I don’t want to teach Sunday school anymore. I hadn’t been to school in years, and now my professor is asking for too much… I want to drop out. I can’t raise the money to fund Village Without Walls, and I am trying to keep my village from falling apart. I feel the diphenhydramine.