A most difficult transition

June 01,2008
Skaddadle
Todd Lieman( )
Apparently, I’ve mentioned the whole “Groundhog Day” thing a bit too many times. And, apparently K-Man can read my blogs, as he’s taken it upon himself to shake things up in a most brutal way. At almost three, he’s reached that age when…when…when…it’s so horrible, I can barely get the words out. Okay, deep breath. One more. Maybe one more. He’s reached that age when he no longer naps (at least not regularly).

K-Man is a prolific sleeper and his naps were like clockwork. Put him down and out he went. We could count on a minimum of two hours of peace, or two hours of our own naps. Sometimes those naps lasted as long as three or even four hours. And, on those days when the naps went extra long, he’d still go down for bed at his regular time.

This weekend (like last weekend and the one before that), however, there was no downtime; there was only an hour of screaming on Saturday followed by another hour of protest on Sunday. We used to be able to carve up the weekends into quads: Saturday morning, Saturday afternoon/evening, Sunday morning, Sunday afternoon/evening. We’d just plan four activities per weekend (playdates, music class, swim lessons, whatever) and we’d cruise through the weekend like rock stars. Now? It’s all different.

I suppose if we KNOW the nap is going away that it actually opens some doors of opportunity. I mean because of the nap, we were always careful not to plan anything that ran too long in the morning, or would take us too far away from home (heaven forbid he fall asleep in the car on the way home and ruin any chance of a real nap). But now, who cares if he falls asleep in the car? It’s not like he’s going to sleep at home anyway. It’s not like WE’RE going to sleep at home anyway. So, screw it. You don’t want to nap, K-Man? We’re going big in the morning. Yeah, that’s what I’m going to start trying to convince myself. That this is a good thing.

No parents get any pleasure from being absolutely exhausted. Obviously, nothing compares with the sleep deprivation that comes with a newborn bundle of hell…errr…joy. This transition to no nap, though? It may be a close second. You work hard all week and look forward to those four or five extra hours of sleep on the weekends. Suddenly, with little warning – gone! Take THAT, Groundhog Day!

The irony, of course, is that K-Man doesn’t seem any worse for the lack of sleep. He just wants more time to run around, dump his toys on the ground, throw puzzle pieces around the house, go to fire stations, slide down “twisty slides” at the park and any number of other activities that make up a day-in-the-life. Seriously, though, kid, would it kill you to keep napping?

On Sunday, before I put him down for his attempted nap, I tried to explain that naps are good for him and they are scientifically proven to enhance the quality of life, burn calories and….that’s about as far as I got before he looked at me with those big, brown, “Daddy? What the f**k are you talking about?" eyes of his. I knew I was doomed.


About this time, my friend, who happens to be K-Man’s girlfriend’s dad, texted me, “Sis didn’t nap. Come over anytime.” At least I had that going for me.

In my other life (shocking to think that this blog alone doesn’t pay all the bills), I work with an insurance company on some marketing stuff. Insurance, I’ve learned, is all about life stages and transitions. You think about products like life, disability, long-term care and so-on insurance, and it makes sense. There is no nap insurance, though. Which sucks, because right now…I can’t think about a bigger transition than the one that means no more naps.