TEACHABLE MOMENTS

As parents, you should be prepared to field your children's questions and to engage them in discussions regarding the key teachable aspects of this story. The most significant parental teaching opportunities lie in these areas:

1. Honesty -- in the contexts of family, marriage, and self. Human fallibility should also be discussed.

2. Sex education -- taking cues from your kids' questions, give them the age-appropriate sexual information.

3. Political history -- discuss what constitutes an impeachable offense (there are legal, ethical, and moral issues involved) and the impeachment process. Compare this presidency and impeachment with Nixon's.

HOW TO APPROACH THE ISSUE WITH YOUNGER KIDS

The information and clarification that you provide your younger kids should be based on their own curiosity and "need to know." Don't give them more than they want, need, or are capable of processing. Some exchanges may simply involve age-appropriate definitions of words like adultery, perjury, oral sex, and impeachment. Other discussions could focus on the wrongness of lying and how dishonesty may end up hurting those we care about and ourselves -- as is the case with the president.

Younger kids are very ego-driven and self-referential -- "How could this affect me?" They may be worried that what happened to the Clintons could happen to their parents and to them. They may worry that their daddy might lose his job (impeachment) if he did something like the president. Reassure them all is fine with a statement like "Mommy and Daddy love each other and are honest with each other and with you. We are all doing really OK in this family."

HOW TO APPROACH THE ISSUE WITH OLDER KIDS

Given their own explosive sexual development, curiosities, and confusion, pre-adolescents and adolescents are eager to devour all the tawdry sex that this report and any other subsequent sex scandal story has to offer. Instead of waiting for their questions or comments, I would honor their opinions and curiosities by initiating questions like:

• What would hurt you most about this -- if you were the president, Mrs. Clinton, Chelsea?

• Do you think Mr. Clinton should be impeached? On what grounds? (Get into the legal and historical background of impeachment. Do your homework.)

• What troubles you the most about this?

  Treat their opinions with respect, even if you disagree with them. Accept the fact that they will scour this report for the sexually explicit parts. Watch what you say about this in their company. Off-color jokes, sarcasm, and self-righteous condemnation may backfire on you. Despite their seeming disregard of all your opinions, they are always silently listening for guidance from you when it comes to their inner conflicts. Make sure that you take the high road, as you reveal to them why you are angered, disappointed, and saddened by this affair. It may also be wise for you to understand that your responses to Mr. Clinton's immorality and mistakes may be taken as clues as to how you would respond to their falls from grace.

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  The Starr Report: Indecent Material That Can't Be Blocked (from SafeTeens.Com)