How would you react if your child was caught cheating? Outrage and serious punishment. Concern. I'd want to know why. No big deal. Most kids do it.

• 74 percent of the students admitted cheating on a test at least once within the past year.
• 93 percent had lied to their parents in the past year.
• 83 percent had lied to their teachers.
• 37 percent said they would lie to get a job.
• Nearly 1 in 6 had shown up for class drunk in the past year.
• 68 percent said they had hit someone because they were angry.
• 47 percent said they could get a gun if they wanted to.

The Upside
"The good news appears that it's peaked," Michael Josephson, founder and president of the Josephson Institute of Ethics, told the Associated Press. He said the numbers were not significantly worse than the last survey results, released in 1998.

Ask Carleton
Family therapist Carleton Kendrick explains what parents can do:

• Walk It and Talk It If you expect your sons and daughters to be honest, ethical people, show them the way. You may think fudging on your taxes or driving 50 in a 35-mile zone is no big deal, but it sends decidedly mixed messages to children.
• Don't Measure or Punish Because of Grades/Scores. In interviews, middle-school students have confessed to Kendrick that they are embarrassed about cheating, but do it anyway because they fear their parents' negative reactions to grades or test scores. Reward your kids' efforts and progress, not the final results.
• Don't Play the Shame/Blame Game. All children experiment with lying, and as Kendrick points out, all misbehaviors have "goals." It's a parent's job to find out what the goals are, but instead of being accusatory or distrustful, Kendrick advises, try an empathetic approach: "You know Bobby, I know you are a wonderful boy who always wants to tell the truth. There must be something going on to make you think about lying. I want to find out what made you change your mind about telling the truth." Such an approach can be tailored to tots or teens; it's less likely that children will respond defensively or refuse to talk when a parent begins by expressing faith in their desire to be truthful.